Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
Best-Laid Plans

Julie's surprisingly chipper considering she had to work two nights this week and she's being mauled by a black tea cozy. The final three -- Kevin, Natalie, and Jordan -- are all sitting in the living room waiting for what comes next. Julie spews some word-salad about which part of the multi-part HoH competition we'll see part of tonight, but I start paying attention when she alludes to the fact that all three players will still be in the house on finale night. Sounds like they figured out how to avoid the possibility of a tie with a six-member jury. But first!

We flash back to the beginning of the first part of the three-part HoH competition, with the final three all standing on a rolling log, hanging onto keys suspended above them to try to be the last person... rolling, I guess. Kevin says he hopes to take Jordan to the final two. Jordan in turn says she's without allies, so she's just "winging it." So she has the same long-term strategy as before Jeff left,. Natalie thanks Kevin for evicting Michele. "Yeah, thanks," Jordan adds sarcastically.

Then it's a flashback from the flashback, of Michele's eviction and exit. Natalie DRs about how glad she is that Michele's gone because of how much she hates her for reasons that still escape me. Then, back on the log during the HoH competition, Natalie continues shit-talking Michele, claiming she's been after Jeff the whole time, which even Jordan isn't dumb enough to buy.

After about 55 minutes, the log suddenly stops, but nobody falls. The rain, which had stopped, recommences, as does the rolling, now in reverse. Natalie begins to lose her footing, but the string from which her key dangles is apparently also strong enough to support her weight long enough for her to get back on. Then comes the wind, complete with fake leaves and what Jordan claims is "real snow." Then the rain starts again, and the log gets tricky again.

They're still up there three hours later, when Natalie asks if the others are ready to drop yet. "I'm going until the sun rises, wench," Kevin says, not in a friendly way. I imagine he kind of digs being mean to Natalie for Jordan's benefit. Natalie claims that she'll last longer than that. Kevin still vows to hang on, but his hand is shaking. Natalie tries to offer Jordan some lame deal that makes as much sense as any of Natalie's other strategies. More rolling, more wind, more snow. Kevin senses Jordan's weakness and suggests she start shivering to warm up, hoping it'll make her drop. It doesn't, but when the log starts again after a long pause, she falls off with 3 hours and 27 minutes down. Jordan calls it a $500,000 mistake, and Natalie and Kevin gloat at each other. Then, after Jordan goes inside to dry off and worm up, they start bargaining. We flash back to three days ago, when they agreed that Natalie would throw the first phase so she could win the second one. Kevin swears on everything he has that he'll stick to the plan, but tells us in the DR that his word means nothing in the game, and all he wants to do is "boot this biznatch out." Natalie wants to hang for fifteen more minutes, ostensibly to make it more believable (because Jordan's such a wily adversary), and also to get Kevin on record some more. But finally she jumps down. "Are you coming or what?" she calls up. Kevin dismounts, hardly believing himself that he's gotten away with this.

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Big Brother




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