Big Brother
Lamer Vs. Lamerer

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
He Blinded Me With Science

Task Two: Simplified superhero puzzle. Thereby removing one of the finest things of this whole season, which is Jeff and Brendon dressed up like superheroes. Rachel takes it again, with such a short time that it pisses Brendon off. She's got to do basically the whole puzzle in like 34 seconds... I bet she'll do it. She's really dumb, but she's also kind of smart too? Oh, nope. Nearly but not quite. Rachel is eliminated.

Task Three: Scary hair foot. Jeff is afraid of spelling, because he is a total moron. Daniele is excited by the idea of Brendon attempting to spell any word, but knows that he'll underbid himself. Sadly, she takes too much of a shot and ends up with 29 seconds to do an eleven letter word on the foot hairs. Brendon, of course, takes the opportunity to tell us that he spelled a thirteen-letter word during this originally. The fact that he remembers that is the saddest thing of all. Well, and then Daniele gets eliminated.

Task Four: Cows on the Moon. The most insane shit I have ever seen on this show besides the Rachel/Regan or Janelle/Cokewhore fights. Rorsche bunts, of course, and Jeff undercuts everybody by a whole lot. 54 seconds for Jeff to conquer the moon milk. It's harder when you have to squeeze your own self, for sure. Kathy counts down the seconds, since she can't actually carry Jeff back and forth on her own ass-kissing back, and it's still the grodiest competition of all time, and then... Break. And then the milk jug overflows! But not before the buzzer buzzes, which is dumb. The milk was in the tube, but it... You know what, not going that way. Not going to get driven crazy again by the creepy milk thing. Jeff is eliminated, the end.

Task Five: Brendon has 33 seconds to play mini golf and get one ball into this hole on the slanty green. The second ball almost makes it, but then the last one does! So Brendon gets PoV. Gross.

Brendon's Diary: "Daniele, you think you're smarter than me? Well, I am a scientist."
Then he literally sticks his tongue out.
Daniele: "Worse than him getting the Veto is watching them kiss in celebration."
Jeff: "...So at this point probably I'm going to get backdoored, because it's about me."
Daniele: "Yeah, this sucks. I don't need enemies."

Aw, fuck that. Kathy is a quisling, she does nothing. Porsche is a human vote receptacle. Lawon belongs in the care of the state. You don't want enemies? I guarantee it's worth losing one of those bastards. Hell, put up Adam and watch Rachel campaign against his worthless ass. It's like killing three puppies with one stone.

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Big Brother




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