Big Brother
Kaysar And The Stack Of Greenbacks

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Morality Takes A Holiday

Our first order of business is for James to go into the DR and tell us which vote is being nullified. Unsurprisingly, he is not insane, and he chooses Janelle's vote. Julie sends him back to the living room. There's a severe overload of walking music here -- you know, the tense little filler music for when someone walks to the diary room during the live show. It's like the music they'd use on a game show while people are writing down their answers. For now, we have to go to another commercial, believe it or not, but we'll be back in a moment for some voting. And, undoubtedly, for more walking music.

When we return, it's time for the vote. Julie reminds us that about two minutes ago, James cancelled Janelle's vote, not that she will know this. Marcellas is the first to vote. (Walking music.) Julie says that Marcellas has a crush on Kaysar, but knows he's a great competitor. Marcellas cheerfully votes to evict Kaysar. Howie kisses Marcellas on the face as they pass each other. Howie puts his hand up over his face and votes to evict James. Erika votes to evict Kaysar, but only "unfortunately." Janelle votes to evict James. Will, with his hair even more '70s than usual -- the EEFPs pegged it perfectly as late-stage Peter Brady -- says Mike sent him a signal he hopes he's reading correctly, and he will be voting out Kaysar. George votes to evict Kaysar, whom he calls "K-czar." That would be a great name for a long-ago Russian rapper. Mike votes to evict Kaysar. Like some others, Mike mentions that it's Kaysar's birthday. That's going to be one bitter cake.

Julie returns us to the living room, where she reveals that after James's nullified vote is tossed, Kaysar has been evicted 5-1. Kaysar and James hug. Janelle tries to get a "What up, Kaysar?" going on his way out, but it's not at all what he's in the mood for, and it turns really awkward. They all applaud him as he leaves. I think none of these people really have anything against Kaysar, except that he's sort of self-serious and boring. I know most of them would much rather be throwing out Janelle. It would certainly make me much happier.

Kaysar meets Julie in the power gazebo. Back in the house, milling around ensues. Kaysar's picture is already black and white. That was quick. Danielle is standing around looking miserable. Back in the gazebo, Julie asks Kaysar whether it was hard being on the block against his friend and ally, James. Kaysar says that it was, because they'd had this "falling out" last year, and Kaysar wanted to fix things, and Kaysar wanted everything to be cool. And, of course, he's sure that everything ultimately was cool. Julie decides to reveal to Kaysar that James is in an alliance with Danielle, Mike, and Will, and even tells him it's called the Legion Of Doom. Julie also says that James's entire strategy was to get Janelle out of the house. I hope Kaysar isn't on the jury, because if he is, this kind of isn't appropriate. Julie also lets fly some of the things that James has said about Janelle, including "stupid bitch" and "Anna Nicole Smith wannabe," and some other stuff. Kaysar shakes his head in disappointment. "I guess it just goes to show I'm not cut out for this game," Kaysar says. "I tried to play with honesty, and I've tried to play the best I can,'s disappointing. You get played in this game...I played for the team, and the team didn't play for me." Yet another sufferer of the dreaded awesomeness surplus! Can you believe that? It's got to be one of the most serious afflictions currently affecting our nation.

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Big Brother




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