Big Brother
Kaysar And The Stack Of Greenbacks

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Morality Takes A Holiday
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

What I love about Big Brother is that it proves that even an automaton can become successful, marry a network executive, and tell internet yappers to go chew aluminum foil. That's what I love about Big Brother.


As you know, this is usually the portion of the Big Brother recap where we share our despair over (1) the fact that we're all watching; and (2) the fact that we're being put through an agonizingly detailed reminder of what was happening when we were most recently together. Of course, the fact that we're all watching is as miserable a reality as ever, but for once, it actually does matter what was happening when we were all most recently together. Because what was happening was an endurance-based HoH competition that left those without internet access hanging for the week. You'll remember that everyone had climbed up onto a rope web, and then they were sprayed with silly string, which somehow was supposed to knock them off or something. And I must say, when silly string became a weapon, it suddenly appeared that perhaps Big Brother management had lost its bloodlust.

We see the blue-and-white launching of the HoH competition, and then we slide to color as the web is raised up off the ground and into the sky. Erika tells us that she was filled with "fire" after she spent a week on the block. Since she's made of kindling, that would be rather dangerous. Hotcha! Will turns the tables on Sexually Inappropriate Howie as they sit on the web, telling Howie that he seems nervous. And then we see them get sprayed again with whatever that stuff is. Marcellas complains in the DR that they ruined his belt. Marcellas apparently has not learned that you don't wear your Sunday best to an HoH competition, lest you get pelted with eggs or dropped into a vat of oil or something. Will asks Mike whether he's correct in calling himself "a thirty-three-year-old doctor on a big giant spider web." I'm sure the spider web feels the same way about you, smarty. Howie says that the competition was "tailor-made" for him, presumably because it involved lying motionless, but Danielle tells us that everyone looked very comfortable lying around on the spider web, which made her nervous about her chances. She adds that she really, really wanted to keep S6 from winning HoH again. Oh, me too, Danielle. Me too.

A remark from James that it seems like there aren't that many people left takes us to blue-and-white Diane being evicted again. James DRs that Diane represented no threat to him, so Janelle evicted her out of "pure stupidity." Oh, James. Sorry to point this out, pumpkin, but the fact that Diane was no threat to you is not a good demonstration of the stupidity of nominating her. Janelle is stupid, but not because she nominated someone who wasn't a threat to...someone who wasn't her. James goes on to insist that "the entire house is now gunning for Janelle." Danielle DRs that she just loves Diane (have you noticed the difference between Danielle's old DRs and her new DRs?), and that Diane "had every right to be upset, because she was back-doored." I guess "back-doored" now has no meaning, because it refers simply to nominating someone after a veto is used. I don't see, then, how it can be objectionable when the HoH has no choice but to do it. It's like tackling a guy and then getting pissed off that he got up. That selfish asshole! And then Danielle adds, "It is what it is." Which is always helpful. For his part, Marcellas claims that he "had to choke back tears" when Diane left, because he knows her so well. He goes on: "For someone like Janelle to selfishly put her on the block is a gross misuse of power." You know, I'm no Janelle fan, but that is the stupidest reason to be angry at someone that I have ever heard of. "Selfish"? Has Marcellas read the rules? He may mistakenly believe he is on the lesser-known reality show, Commune! And also: "Gross misuse of power"? She's not a superhero. She hasn't been given a great gift. With great power does not come great responsibility, when that great power is won with speedy button-pushing or trivia contests.

After Diane is gone, Will hugs Erika. "Hug it out, bitch," he says. Heh. It figures he would embrace the Piven. Erika says that she was "pretty sad" about Diane leaving, but then she giggles, "But I got to staaaayyyy!", and she kicks her feet in the air in the DR, which I can appreciate. At least she can admit that her sadness is overwhelmed by her self-interest, as we all should in situations such as this one.

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Big Brother




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