Big Brother
If You Like Her then You Should Have Put Her Ring on It

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Shell Game

Wearing a red dress with one wandering lapel, Julie tells us that a "betrayal" put the newbies in power, but greed may be their downfall. So I think we know whose side she's on.

After the previouslies, Julie's redundant intro, and a second replay of yesterday's Veto meting, it's Day 59. Shelly says in the DR how she's doing everything she can to save herself, and Adam talks about how he needs to kiss some ass. Or he could just continue to be everyone's lowest priority for as long as that takes him. Rachel and Jordan sit in the DR together gloating obnoxiously (mostly Rachel). Porsche's feeling pretty bummed about how her week as HoH went, for obvious reasons.

Shelly decides to have a little "me" time in the purple room to plan her next move. She thinks the fortune teller machine in the room just moved, so she goes over and presses the button on it, which makes the machine move again and its eyes light up. So Shelly's next move ends up being hanging out in there for three hours waiting for the machine to do give her a clue or reward or something. Of course, all she gets is three hours older.

And after coming up empty, Shelly makes a case to Rachel that she'll be a useful pawn to keep in the game, undaunted by Rachel's shitty poker face indicating her obvious disbelief. Rachel claims to respect Shelly's game moves, but doesn't feel like she can trust Shelly not to backstab her as well. Which, valid. Shelly's so desperate she even offers her diamond ring as collateral. Rachel's not going to take it, because there's a point at which even she is capable of embarrassment, but she seems to be hearing what Shelly's saying. Except of course, the part where Shelly says in the DR that the ring is a cubic zirconium replica. Of course. Even Shelly's Hail Marys are bullshit.

Adam barges in on Rachel and Jordan while they're having a discussion, so he can try to convince them to keep him. He promises his loyalty, which they all know is worth the nonexistent paper it's not printed on. After he leaves, Rachel says she thinks Adam's playing everyone, which is giving Adam an awful lot of undeserved credit.

Next morning, Rachel and Jordan have a talk with Shelly about keeping her, I guess because they have a lot of hours to kill, and Rachel DRs that it might be wise to keep a bigger target in the house. Shelly makes all the promises she can think of, and when Jordan asks if Shelly ever threw a competition, she says she only ever threw the very first competition, although the editors remind us that she threw the fembot Veto competition two weeks ago. To be fair, it's hard to say whether Shelly is actually lying or simply can't remember. Jordan and Rachel talk about their upcoming decision as though they really haven't already made it.

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Big Brother




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