Big Brother
God Hates Jameka

Episode Report Card
Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now!
God Hates Jameka


I just...AUGH. Just watching this episode exhausted me so utterly that the prospect of spending the next hour watching it again makes me wonder how many mistakes I've made over the course of my life to end me up HERE. Weecapping the DONATOS. Let's just hunker down -- and remember, by this time next week, it'll all be over.

So Zach nominated Dick and Daniele, and everyone involved was kind of a dick about it -- no pun intended: Zach was all pompous, Daniele was all smug, and Dick...dicked. As he does. He drums his fingers on the table, he mocks Zach (with Daniele), and then we slide-guitar into colour. Daniele DRs that she's upset that Zach went back on his word (much as she and Dick did to Eric and Jessica -- obviously, since everyone scumbagging everyone else is how the game works, uh-duh). We get some brief footage of Dick and Daniele making fun of Zach for saying that he was the only one with the stones to try to get them out, and of his claim that Jameka restored his faith in God (which, to be fair, did sound like straight-up pandering). Anyway, both Donatos are supremely confident -- Dick adding, for good measure, that he and Daniele had the hardest game to play of anyone in the house, which is actually true in one respect: their natural alliance made them natural targets the entire time they've been playing. But the flip of that, obviously, is that each has had the other to depend on, with much less secret worry that one's alliance partner will sell one out than is the case with people who've only known each other in the game. I mean, even Dick -- even Dick -- can't sell out Daniele without looking like the actual Devil. So it cuts both ways. In other words: shut up, Dick.

So then what follows is an exchange where Dick tries to take out his giant cock and wave it around, and Zach's not really interested, and Daniele's sitting there in the giant cock's shadow. I mean, I know that's gross. But it's Dick. He starts by laying into Zach for the line of bullshit he laid on Jameka about her restoring his faith; at least Dick has been honest, says Dick. Zach's like, "To you." Dick continues quietly needling Zach, a tight smile pasted on his face, as he tells Zach that he's playing for third, and that he won't win against any of the other three people left. Zach's like, "Maybe against you." Dick insists that Zach couldn't even beat Dick, not that Zach will even get to the final two to find out. Zach's like, "True. We'll see if you get there." The camera zooms in on Ol' Sackface so we can see the fear in his eyes as he says, "I will." Zach, on his way out of the kitchen, says he might even take Dick there, and Dick says he knows -- because Zach doesn't have a shot against anyone else. Then...we're agreed? God, Dick is such a sad cartoon.

So Zach finds Jameka in the bathroom. She thanks him for not nominating her and they briefly hug. She DRs that she feels bad about some of the things she's said about Zach (sure, now she does, when he's nominated other people), but manages not to look like a hypocrite by adding that some of the things she's said about him were true. Heh. Anyway, she agrees with him that double-teaming the Donatos is a good idea.

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Big Brother




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