Big Brother
Giving The Devil His Due

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
At Long Last, Shove

Saturday. Previously on Big Brother 3: Jason became HoH, and he put Gerry and Amy in the only two seats on the Midnight Train to Julie. He expressed great regret at not having nominated Roddy the Balding Svengali. Ah, woe is Jason. Wouldn't it be great if he had another chance? Wouldn't it be swell if he got a shot at changing his mind and placing the boot on the back end of the Rod? Oh, that's right. He got one, courtesy of the Power of Veto, but he sat on it. Sat on it like Potsie. In the end, Gerry got the boot and headed back to the classroom, taking with him the last shreds of respect I ever had for several of his housemates. Marcellas grabbed HoH and, as usual, found it difficult to comprehend just how fabulous he really was.

Blue-and-white Gerry is evicted all over again, with Julie Chen unloading the big "PSYCH!" moment by making everyone think Amy was the one with the steel-toed bootmarks on her butt. We see all the blue-and-white houseguests intoning Gerry's name in the DR. Jason expresses some regret at Gerry's departure, which is probably at least a little genuine, and then Marcellas whine-overs his self-centered Pity Party of the Week, as we watch again the way he boohooed all over himself after Gerry walked out the door. "I really did believe he was my friend," Marcellas says, and it occurs to me that Marcellas needs a big fat dictionary for something other than being whacked between the eyes. Nothing chafes me like people who think "friend" is just a state of mind -- that it's a distinction you bestow like "favorite movie," and you give it and you take it back and it means nothing either way, because it doesn't have any particular connection to anything you actually do or say -- or refrain from doing or saying. I mean, gosh, with friends like Marcellas, who needs diphtheria?

Roddy remarks that he'll miss Gerry, too. Now that I believe. I suspect that Gerry was the only one with any amount of patience for listening to Roddy prattle about tidepools and Fibonacci numbers and how Maine will one day snap off and drift out to sea like the head breaking off a gingerbread man. (Okay, so Fibonacci numbers are actually really cool. But still.) Danielle says that it's "nothing personal, just business." Danielle can stop auditioning for that guest spot on The Sopranos any day now, because I get it.

Marcellas continues to muse that it struck him that Gerry saved him from eviction, that Marcellas is really only in the house because of Gerry, and that Marcellas "felt the gratitude." Wow, I didn't think anything in the world was cheaper than my fiberboard furniture from Target, but those words certainly are. Awfully convenient suddenly to acknowledge your debts to people when it's too late to pay them back. Furthermore, in case you think there's any chance that Marcellas is sincere in this comment and has figured out how much he owes to Gerry, just hang in until the live show Thursday. He's not.

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Big Brother




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