Big Brother

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M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
Double Your Pleasure

There's not really anything about Julie's outfit that I can make fun of tonight, but after she reminds us that tonight's double-elimination means a week's worth of Big Brother, LIVE, I can make fun of the way she pivots stiffly to her left to start shaking hands with the CBS interns filling the bleachers. It's very stiff. I make fun of it.

After the credits, Julie tells us that tonight there will be an eviction vote, and then a live Head of Household competition, two nominations, a Power of Veto competition, and another elimination. Now we're talking! But first, let's spend a few minutes replaying Tuesday's PoV ceremony. Ollie's angry at getting screwed, of course, and Jerry says that his whole plan is to sit back and let Michelle self-destruct. Unfortunately for him, she seems to be doing most of her ranting at the Diary Room camera, which, while there is a great deal of it, doesn't help Jerry much.

Ollie, Michelle and Jerry get together and agree that Dan has to be a plant, because that's the only way his gameplay makes any sense. Ollie goes out to call out Dan as such, and sits himself down for a bitchfest. Dan gets up and leaves, leaving Ollie to kvetch to everyone else about his conspiracy theories. They don't really seem to bother anyone, especially Keesha, since Dan basically kept her off the block. Ollie finally gets bored and walks off, calling Memphis a "red-headed Cabbage Patch Kid" over his shoulder. Okay, heh.

Ollie goes up to Dan to confront him, and Dan's defense that it's just a game doesn't cut much ice with Ollie, who's pissed about being embarrassed in front of millions. Well, only part of that is Dan's fault, Mister Pissypants.

Dan has a conference with his alliance of Keesha, Memphis and Renny, and Renny kind of takes Dan to task for provoking Ollie. Then they watch on the monitor as Ollie flings a giant lollipop in the living room and knocks over stuff in the backyard. If you're looking for an aggressive gesture to display your displeasure, I can think of manlier things to throw than a prop from a Willy Wonka movie. At least unwrap it first, so it'll shatter better.

Next to visit Dan is Michelle, who of course is mad at Dan as well, and quite bitter about the injustice of being backdoored for something she didn't do. Yeah, she's the first person that's ever happened to.

Back live in the studio, Julie activates the viewscreen to tell the houseguests in the living room that it's going to be a double elimination, which means there will be only five players left at the end of the hour. Normally her repetitiveness gets on my nerves, but this is one thing I can't seem to hear her say enough. Julie lets Jerry give his nominee speech first, and he's quite reasonable. Michelle gives the now-standard "vote for yourself" speech and sits back down, barely holding back tears.

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Big Brother




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