Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!

We rejoin the houseguests freaking out over the storage room -- with all their food stores inside -- turning up locked after a suspicious blackout on Day 1. As you may recall, Andrew made wise use of that time in the dark to mess with people's heads for no reason, but luckily for him he's safe for the week as a result of having chosen to sit out the Head of Household competition. There's some finger-pointing at Brendon, who of course thought Big Brother just wanted to see what he looked like brushing his teeth in night-vision, and Enzo astutely Diary-Rooms that people are happy to blame others if it keeps them off the radar. Andrew is the first to announce he's going to bed, which reminds me of The Usual Suspects -- put a bunch of criminals in a cell overnight, and the one who sleeps is the killer, because he's the only one who knows the others aren't killers. But of course Andrew was too busy being stupid during the blackout to actually be the saboteur, which means he's probably totally the saboteur.

Andrew and Enzo have a whispered conversation. They seem to trust each other, but suspect Brendon. Meanwhile, Hayden and four of the women seem to suspect Andrew and Brendon, for reasons we've already been over.

"Who wants to see my HoH room?" Hayden asks/announces. Nobody says no, because nobody ever does. Ragan's glad to see no photos of Hayden in hyper-masculine poses. Sure he is.

Outside in the hammock, Brendan, deciding that he's among intelligent friends, tells Rachel and Annie about all his various degrees. Rachel, despite being ID'd by the subtitles as a "VIP Cocktail Waitress," also DRs that she has her chemistry degree from Western Carolina University. I was all ready to make jokes here about how her chemistry background is limited to mixing her red hair dye, but it turns out she studied pheromones, which is better than anything I could have come up with. Then the music gets all romantic (read: porny) as Brendon and Rachel compare nerd credentials, while poor third-wheel Annie's still sitting there all, "I'm wearing glasses...?" She has no idea what they're talking about, but compares it to watching her parents have sex. If that's literally true, I have some questions as to how Annie got here into the world.

A think tank composed of about half the house meets in HoH to talk about the saboteur stuff. Kathy is the first to contribute something new: she's building a profile where the saboteur is a popular girl. But as they all realize, it's not like there's anything they can do about Andrew this week anyway.

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Big Brother




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