Big Brother
Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Mensa

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
Washed Out

We join the surfboard-based endurance HoH competition already in progress, and after basically canvassing all the participants in the Diary Room about why they want to win (because they do, duh), we flash back to Monet's eviction on Thursday. Matt is insufferably smug in the DR, once again repeatedly using the word "orchestrate" when he means "failed to commit suicide despite all my best efforts." Brendon explains that he voted Monet out because that's how the house was voting and doing otherwise would have been dangerous. And now they'll all like him, right? Lane comments on Monet's lightning-fast exit, and Matt thanks the house, "Except for two of you who can ____." Kathy is unrepentant about voting for Matt, even though Matt totally knows Kathy was the other vote to keep Monet along with Britney.

Back to the HoH competition, which is pretty uncomfortable for everyone, with all the fake wind and cold water pouring down on them on and off, while they stand on moving surfboards sticking out of a wall. We're reminded that the first five people out will be haves, and of the five that remain, only the ultimate winner of the HoH competition will not be a Have-Not. Kathy DRs that she's sucked at a lot of competitions, and plans to continue doing that to "fly under the radar." Down she goes, and she's out. Lane follows her into the pool before she even climbs out, because now he's safe from the calumny of being the first one out. Okay, Lane.

Only 17 minutes and forty seconds have passed. Kristen falls next, and I think that's probably the last thing we'll see Kristen do this week (getting done does not count). Hayden is the next to fall, and he claims in the DR that he threw it so as to not make any more enemies. I don't know, Hayden is starting to have kind of a dangerous number of friends. Britney quits next, taking the last Haves spot. That leaves Enzo, Ragan, Andrew, Brendon, and Matt, which means they'll all be Have-Nots except the one who wins HoH. There is some making fun of Andrew's shorts. Matt jokes around, trying to psych people out. After a while, Enzo's right leg gives out and he goes down. That leaves only Matt to represent the Brigade, for those of you who are concerned about their fortunes. Brendon is starting to weaken, probably because of that stupid half-crouch he's in, and as he begins to wobble -- ads!

But the commercials didn't save him, and he goes down hard, leaving Ragan, Andrew, and Matt up there. He's pretty upset with himself. It's been an hour, and the bargaining begins, which is always my least favorite part of these endurance-based HoH competitions. Just tough it out, losers! Ragan gives Andrew a promise that he won't nominate him if he wins HoH. No such offer to Matt, who doesn't fail to notice being snubbed.

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Big Brother




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