Big Brother
Autumn Leaves

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
The one where Hardy wins Head of Household!

Saturday’s episode kicks off with a long, long recap of last week’s episodes, the only new tidbit of information being the fact that Mike has defaced his "Belly" t-shirt, using the "B" to spell out "Bayonne" (Justin’s home town), and writing "C-Town" on the back. Mike is retarded. I guess that’s really not new information, is it?

The Chill Towners (as much as I hate writing that without quotation marks, I’m lazy) are "in shock" over the most recent vote, the one knocking Sheryl out of the house. In the Hot Box, Nicole unpacks her suitcases and laughs toward the camera. In the living room, Mike and Shannon sulk on the sofa. "I can’t believe you guys voted for her," Mike pouts. In the Hot Box, Nicole dances gleefully around the room.

Mike tells Shannon that he "feels guilty" because Sheryl ended up getting the boot. "I gotta live with this guilt," he says. "Sherry coulda won 500,000 dollars, and I laid her out like that." He sniffles. Whatever, Mike. I think you’re probably feeling a lot crappier about the fact that your little plan backfired, thus proving that you’re not in charge of the entire universe.

In the Big Blue Chair of No Longer Feeling Quite So Cocky, Mike admits that he’s surprised Nicole’s strategery worked at all.

In the living room, Mike gives Kent a dirty look. "I saved you, and you voted the other way," he says. Kent shrugs and says he had to vote his conscience. Mike snits that he’s going to remember how everyone voted. Shannon nods and scoots closer to Mike, as though for protection. She’s, like, sitting on his lap.

Mike tells Bunky he’s shocked at the way the vote turned out. He shrugs. "If everyone did it for strategy, mad props," he says. "Cool." America rolls its collective eyes at Mike’s tragically misguided use of outdated slang.

Kent comes into the Hot Box to update Nicole, Autumn, Bunky, and Hardy on the events around the rest of the house. Mike is currently haranguing Monica, he says, for voting for Sheryl, unaware that Monica actually voted to evict Nicole. Nicole and Autumn are changing out of their Voting Day ensembles. Hardy shrugs. "Let him cut his own throat, who cares?" he asks. "I’m going to go off on him," Kent says, and starts to leave, but stops and sticks his head back in the room. "Any more women gonna get naked?" he asks mildly. Heh. Who would have thought that Kent would turn out so funny? Funny ha ha, I mean, not funny peculiar.

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