Big Brother
America's Jerkweed

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: D+ | Grade It Now!
America's Jerkweed

Previously: Jessica nominated Zach and Amber, and she wondered if it was "the biggest mistake ever." America attempted to hold signs reading "YES" up to its TV screens, but to no avail. Eric was ordered by our collective sorry asses to get Amber sent home, so he set about talking Jessica into it. When Eric won the veto, Zach tried to talk him into getting rid of Dick or Daniele, and of course Eric tattled like a bitch, and the Eric/Jessica/Dick/Daniele alliance wound up getting Amber out while developing a severe hate for Zach. As for HoH, it had begun but was not determined as of the end of the last show, so America was holding its breath, presumably praying for the continuation of Dick and Daniele's reign over the house, because America still, always and forever, is kind of an asshole a lot of times, at least as far as its taste in Big Brother contestants. (But we'll get back to Janelle later.) That, and the contribution to global warming.

Credits. I'm kind of glad to see Amber walking out of the house. She needed the break, because her belfry really didn't have room for one more bat. And oh, poor Kail, stuck in the bunny suit for eternity.

We blue-and-white through the Amber-viction once again, and Dick tells us how "full of crap" that "self-righteous bitch" was, because there's nothing more graceful, not to mention courageous, than attacking a weepy goofball when she's already defeated. He's a lovely person. I can see why "America" wants to be his best pal. Jessica reminds us that she personally wanted to boot Zach, but Eric talked her into getting rid of Amber. She is unaware that we are to blame. I hope we can live with ourselves. Jameka is understandably bummed about losing her last ally, and she hopes to "make her proud." And when Amber left, she and Jameka cried together like it was Jesus' going-away party. We slide to color, and Zach says, somewhat obviously, that it was great for him not to go home this week. Eric, similarly obviously but much more smugly, tells us that he was happy about getting rid of Amber, because it was "what America wanted." Daniele condescends to a weeping Jameka that "it gets easier." Presumably, Daniele is equating her boo-hoo-ing over Nick with this. I wonder if Daniele has any awareness that no matter how many times she sits in the DR all smug about how much of a genius she is, her insistence on treating her "relationship" with Nick like a Shakespearean tragedy makes her look like a real Cup-o-Noodles, intelligence-wise.

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Big Brother




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