Big Brother

Episode Report Card
Joe R: C+ | Grade It Now!

Previously: Nick was evicted, and Daniele and Amber cried like it meant something. (Though it's worth mentioning: Voice-Over Guy calls Nick "Daniele's boyfriend in the house." Hee hee hee. After this season, can Daniele and her live-in boyfriend of two years go on The Amazing Race? Please?)

We pick up where we left off: the HoH endurance competition, with everyone hanging upside-down from the clock pendulums. Dick's had the elbows on his long-sleeve tee bad-assedly cut out, so you know he means business. Dustin reminds us that it's essentially the six LNC members versus Jen, Kail, and Zach. The fake birds deposit fake bird poo on the contestants, and all I can think is I hope the substance isn't whipped cream, because how horrible to have to go through the rest of your life associating whipped cream with bird poo? Some people end up more covered than others. Zach, for example, is barely blemished, while Kail looks like she parked herself beneath a California Condor. Amber drops first, then Eric, then Jameka. Kail gives one of her patented two-steps-from-hysteria interviews where she talks about using her faith to hold on or whatever. Not that it matters, because now we know she doesn't win, because Kail only starts quavering like that when she's worried. It's how we know she's not Amber.

On the couches, Eric bitterly gossips about Nick and Daniele, and how Nick's "bee's knees" speech to Daniele probably drove the final nail into Daniele at-home relationship. This leads to flashback footage of Nick's dismissal and everyone's reactions to that. Eric continues to make himself look bad by being so transparently envious of Nick. He even goes so far as to say that Nick's plan to be bros with the guys and flirt with the girls is actually his plan, and he couldn't have Nick bogarting his strategy. Y'all, it's adorable, Eric thinks the girls like him because of flirting. Rather than because he reminds them all of their twelve-year-old brothers.

Then: things get interesting. A plane flies overhead with a banner that reads: "We [Heart] Nick! Amber & Eric Are Liars! LNC Is The Nerd Herd!" Now. I don't mean to devalue the banner, because it's always more fun once the banners get involved. But this one in particular was just written by some douchebaggy Nick fan. Amber's a liar? Because she...told Nick she didn't know he'd be nominated when she really did? That's her big lie? Whatever, banner-buying hausfraus who love Nick. The "LNC = Nerd Herd" thing is interesting and mostly true, considering Dick = Cappy, Daniele = Ivette, and Jen = Janelle. Anyway, guess how everyone reacts? Amber cries (and cries, and cries) in the DR, Eric gets pissed off (and nearly cries in his own DR), and Daniele believes the banner wholeheartedly because it successfully established its Nick-loving bona fides. On the couches, Eric, Amber, Dustin, and Jameka grumble about the banner.

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Big Brother




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