Bachelorette

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Get Him a Body Bag!

After commercial, more Jeremy montage. The scowl on Ryan's face threatens to swallow his chin. Guy seriously needs to get laid, is what I'm saying. We rewatch the rose ceremony we saw just fifteen minutes ago, in which Jeremy got canned.

"You were unbelievably shocked there in the Bahamas. What happened?" says Chris, like PAY ATTENTION, HARRISON. Jeremy says he still doesn't know, and Chris talks about the "rug swept out from under him" [sic]. Would Jeremy do anything differently? Jeremy says he was always honest with DeAnna, so he doesn't think so. "I still get that kicked-in-the-gut feeling whenever I think about it," he says, adding he's got questions, but he doesn't know if he can ask them, and he doesn't even know if he can look at her. Because she's Medusa!

Now we have to reminisce about "Graham's unexpected exit." Graham, who's finally shaved, comes up on stage. After the montage, Graham admits they "had some issues," which is kind of like saying Sid and Nancy had issues. He adds that he felt that he and DeAnna -- both of them -- didn't do what they needed to do to cultivate a relationship. I agree with that; unfortunately, the first thing you did which wasn't helpful in cultivating a relationship was agreeing to be on The Bachelorette. He says he doesn't think DeAnna fully understood how hard it was for him to bring her home and meet his family. He admits to being scared to go so fast, and he hopes to apply the lessons learned elsewhere.

Harrison then says audience members have a lot of questions, and there just happens to be one -- Jenny -- standing at a microphone, and oh! Her question just happens to be for Graham! She asks Graham what the letter to DeAnna said. Graham groans. "I was really liking you," he jokes, and then says some vague things about the letter describing how he felt about DeAnna. Not cool! It's "The Men Tell All," not "The Men Hem and Haw"!

And now DeAnna comes out to talk to Harrison, and the bachelors hand over their balls by joining in the standing ovation. "Lot of respect in the house for you," says Chris, and DeAnna says she hopes the guys know how hard everything was for her. If only she would tell them EVERY FIVE MINUTES about how hard everything was for her. Is your heart "just breaking" right now, DeAnna? Isn't it always?

The men fidget while she talks about how she cares about them and -- oh, there she goes. "It still breaks my heart to watch the episodes," she says.

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Bachelorette

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