Season 9, Episode 7

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | 9 USERS: C+
Frankly, Madeira, I Don't Give A Damn

He says his goodbyes, and Desiree comes to take her to the car, but she's doing that thing where the dumper wants to make sure that the dumpee can't even have the dignity of being pissed off. She tells him she thinks the world of him and they have a great foundation of friendship and this is very hard because he has everything. He says he knows she would have loved his family, but all things considered, he's glad he got dumped before the hometown date instead of after. He says it'll be hard to date after this, because no "girl" is going to measure up to her. That seems to hit her hard.

He drives off, and says he feels like his heart just exploded in his chest, and whines about how it sucks to put everything on the line and be rejected. He cries, or fake cries, and I couldn't care less about Michael. He actually calls his mom on the car ride to tell her she's not going to meet Desiree. "Here we go again," says Michael's mom, which was fairly awesome. Michael opts for a decent bit of drama queening but suggesting that maybe he's not meant to get married. Generally speaking, I'm cool with Bachelor/ette folks getting married. It's their reproducing that I tend to have reservations about.

Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. You know how movie sequels often shift too much focus to a bit player fan favorite from the original movie, who loses much of his charm when given too much screen time? Well, Desiree's brother is back next week. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at

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