Bachelorette
Season 9, Episode 5

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | 1 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Bavarian Brouhaha

I guess it's Rose Ceremony time, at Schloss Schleissheim. Chris Harrison greets Desiree in front of the castle, which means we're going to kill/fill time with a boring conversation about how the week has gone. This is Desiree's first time in Europe, and she says, based on spending a few days in a little bit of Germany, "I love Europe." So let's just move on. My decision is validated moments later when Harrison and Desiree have a painful conversation about who the best kissers are.

The guys arrive and settle in and start discussing the evening, with James saying he'd like to talk to her first. Chris asks if he has something specific to say to her, and Drew points out they all want to spend time with her. Mikey says there are few enough of them now that it won't matter who goes first or last. Chris cryptically talks about Des starting to see people's "true colors."

The guys are a little surprised (the rest of us not so much, given the lateness of the hour) when Harrison comes in with Desiree for the announcement that Desiree has requested, after an emotional week, not to have a cocktail party, as she already knows who she's eliminating. Drew feels "sick" that he's not going to have the chance to warn Desiree, and it looks like he might actually throw up when he stands there listening to James crow about how confident he feels about his relationship with Desiree.

So they gather for the Rose Ceremony. Desiree comes out and apologizes for the weirdness, but she didn't want to put them through an unnecessary cocktail party. Blah blah blah she's surrounded by a great group of guys. Them?

Roses: Zak. Kasey. Juan Pablo, Drew. Last rose comes down to Mikey or James. Both are super-douchey, but one is, apparently more evil -- and the more-evil one, James, gets the final rose. "I'm at a loss," says Drew, who doesn't understand why Desiree would keep James, even after HE DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE TO WARN HER OF THE REASONS SHE SHOULDN'T. He calls James a cancer. Oh, and also a piece of shit.

Mikey is super-surprised at his ouster: "I think she missed out on a guy like me that's a genuine guy, that has been raised the right way and would have treated her great, and we would have a great life together of love and happiness and family." He unsurprisingly thinks she'll regret her decision.

Kasey and Drew are bummed about James staying, and now that James is the new Ben, we get to see shots of James where he looks particularly sinister. Oh, and we never do see the clips of Desiree bawling and crying or the confrontation between James and the other guys. That's next week, apparently? It had better be!

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