Bachelorette
Season 9, Episode 5

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | 1 USERS: C+
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Bavarian Brouhaha

Ben's upset, saying Michael is crossing a line: lying to Desiree. "I'm done trying to be his friend." Back inside, Michael is too fucking stupid to listen to Desiree tell him he's making her uncomfortable. "I'm just standing up for what's right," he says. Desiree tells us she's really uncomfortable between the two of them, and she's not seeing the qualities she wants in either one of them, and she might let both of them go.

Michael tells us that he knew when Ben walked out and he saw the look on Desiree's face, that he fucked up. (Yeah? That only makes it weirder that you kept arguing with her about it.) Desiree goes outside to see if Ben's OK, and he tells her he's never had his faith or his fatherhood questioned, and he's just gathering his thoughts and coming back in. She's torn because she thinks the fact that Ben is the outcast among this group of assholes says something (even though she hasn't seen it and thinks Ben is sweet, apparently). So he comes inside and chats alone with Desiree for a while in which he appears to need to justify how much he does or doesn't talk to his son.

She and Ben return to the dinner table, so she takes Michael aside to find out "why he's so passionate" about criticizing Ben. Michael tells her he's condescending and a know-it-all and has made some disconcerting statements, and talks about Ben supposedly saying the publicity of the show will be good for his business.

Eventually they return to the table, and Desiree starts talking about the moments that made her uncomfortable but she was able to talk to the both of them. She says she thinks Ben is a good father and a good man, and she likes the way she can be herself with Michael, and she's giving the rose to the person she sees a future with, and that turns out to be Michael.

Ben sees himself out. "The hell with him for what he said to me. Fuck this," Ben mutters. He can't believe -- nor can I, really -- that Desiree would give the rose to one guy talking so much shit about someone else like that. Michael, even though he won, can't help but talk about how "justice has been served." Desiree chases after him and gives him a hug goodbye. He gets in the limo and says, "Let's go." They do not go. "You want me to sit here and look unhappy?" he asks. Ha! He figures it won't take Desiree long before she realizes she made the wrong decision. "The fact that Michael made it farther than me... wow," he says. Probably not the sentiment that best expresses your sincerity, but ... hell, his limo ride is amazing, warning the show that they need to be careful otherwise they're not going to have a good Bachelor. Then he asks where they're getting drunk on his last night in Munich, and wants to know how soon he's allowed to be seen in public with someone because he doesn't want to wait. True colors, or him letting loose after being spurned? I still like him better than Michael.

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