Season 9, Episode 11: The Finale, Part 2

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C- | 64 USERS: C
The Last Man Kneeling

"Part 1" of this finale (a five-hour event in all, we are to believe) was hard to watch. But it was all I wanted to talk about for two days. Usually The Bachelor/ette is an escape, but when Des got dumped by Brooks, I felt like I was right outside a local bar watching an attractive couple break up. It was too close to real life and that is not what I want in my escapism.

The big questions going into tonight are: is Brooks coming back? And, what is it? Is it all a live show? Is there even a need for an After the Final Rose? Everything has been so intentionally vague up to this point, but we'd better see some limo crying and some Neil Lane and some roses and candles and beautiful dresses. Hold on to your wine, ladies. Whatever Part 2 is, it's … airing.

We last left Des crying in her casual, breezy outfit and waterproof makeup, feeling a fool. Thank you, Brooks, for saving us from the typical monotonous first half hour of these finales, with the Bachelorette recapping the great, boring things about her two final guys. It looks like Des got Chris and Drew into suits, so they aren't pulling the plug entirely. I already feel like I'm getting Fleissed a little bit. Chris introduces the show in front of a live studio audience, packed with women and a couple coerced men. He tells us Des was left "virtually hopeless" and her dream is turning into a nightmare.

Chris also tells us Des will sort through all the drama on After the Final Rose and we will meet the next Bachelor. It's gotta be Zak. But for now, back to Des crying, now in a flowing peach maxi dress. She tells us to have pictured a marriage with someone and have that within reach, only to have the rug pulled out from underneath her is difficult. It seems, based on this interview, that it would be unfair for Desiree to proceed with these other two goons. Chris Harrison arrives to sort things out.

Des tells Chris she's OK, but Chris corrects her, telling her she's not OK, and Des bursts into tears. She says that honestly, she just wants to go home. Or maybe everyone else could go home and she could hang out in Antigua, I think that might be nice. Or miserable. There is no right answer.

Chris plays amateur therapist, and speeds things along by telling Des that two men are still here. They are "great" and they have told Des they love her. But ah, women will always choose the man who is the most withholding. So Des is non-committal to Chris Harrison about Chris and Drew. Chris tries to convince Des to move forward, and Des tries to convince herself that she's not devastated. Chris decides for Des that she wants to continue on and fetches the guys for a rose ceremony.

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