Season 8, Episode 8

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
The Old Prince Still Lives At Home

Meanwhile, the two racing Aries are chatting, with junior saying he can see himself proposing, and senior saying she's got a lot of great qualities. "I hope you make it to the end, buddy," says Dad, and he and his son hug.

She thinks things went great, but that's because she, unlike us, didn't have to hear Arie talk about "Emily and I's" relationship. He says he's definitely going to marry her, which I think means he's not really familiar with how this show works.

That leaves just Sean, waiting for Emily at White Rock Lake in Dallas. He's got a couple of dogs with him, and he says it's been a couple of years since his family has met a woman he's dating. Emily says she's excited to meet Sean, because he's got every quality a woman could be looking for in a husband and father, but by this point we all know that Emily's only criteria are 1) handsome and 2) abs, so whatever, Emily.

He lets his dogs roam around off-leash, and I really hope that's an off-leash park, because otherwise, cram it, Sean. They sit on a picnic blanket and drink while Emily asks an obviously planted question about how many women he's introduced to his family. He doesn't really answer but says he's only been in one really serious relationship. He weirdly says he promised himself that he wouldn't allow a woman to give herself to him if he couldn't reciprocate. Wow, that's ... big of him? To make that promise to ... himself? What the hell is going on here?

Then they make out, and by this point of the hometown dates, I always wonder what brand of tongue disinfectant this show uses. Missed marketing opportunity, for sure. She blathers about how perfect she expects his family to be. That's scary for her because she's not perfect, and what if they expect perfection? Just how Aryan does she think Sean's family is?

So the family estate is in Colleyville, and we are a perfect four-for-four in terms of the bachelors coming from money, and Sean introduces Emily to his family, which includes his niece Kensington and his nephew Smith, and Emily must have taken solid etiquette classes because she doesn't say, "I'm sorry, did you say his name is 'Smith'?" And Kensington has a place in the backyard that is bigger than my first apartment out of university, for god's sake. I know this is just how it's edited, but it's a little unfortunate that Emily appears to take in these indicators of wealth and status and equates them with Sean's family being perfect.

Anyway, we're all sitting down now for a meal of edible gold and kidney pie made from the kidneys of the world's poorest people, and Sean tells Emily he's got a confession to make. "I still live here," he says. It takes her a few seconds to recover, at which point she deems that "cool."

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