Season 8, Episode 3

Episode Report Card
Daniel: F | Grade It Now!
With a Little Help from Her 'Friends'

She said talking to Doug made her feel so blessed about her own life, which is more than a little self-centered. "I just see him as such an awesome dad, and an awesome human being," she says.

Meanwhile, Ryan is raggin' on Tony for playing with kids? All day? Oh, it's because the kids reminded Tony of his own son. Completely understandable feelings, as is doubting whether he should even be there. Ryan probably thinks Tony's worried that his son is getting fat and lazy while he's away.

Meanwhile, back at the bachelor house, Kalon is hoping that he gets the third date card, but it goes to Arie, who is happy because he's used to things going very fast (he's a race car driver, you know) but things have been going slow with Emily. "Hopefully tomorrow, it revs things up." The date card says, "Love is a wild ride!" with the strange ellipses being ditched in favor of an exclamation mark. Kalon's a little putted out that people who are not him are spending time with Emily.

Speaking of Emily, she's sitting down with Tony, who tells her that it was a little tough talking to his son, who wants to know when he's coming home from "Nerf Caroline." Emily assures Tony, who is getting choked up, that it's worse for him that it is for his son. Emily would know. We go to a commercial with an implied cliffhanger that Tony may just freak out and start murdering people.

Commercial break, then more drinking and hugging and chatting and sweating. Heavy lights on the guys during the one-on-one chats, huh? Doug and Tony have a dad-to-dad chat in an alley. Doug asks if he's considering going home, and Tony says he has, but then came to the conclusion that if he's looking for a wife, what better place than a television show with a 25-to-1 man-woman ratio and an abysmal rate of actual marriages? Maybe that's part of why the guilt is weighing on him.

He calls his kid, and holds it together whilst on the phone, talking about Batman and Joker, but gets bummed out again afterwards. The kid sounds fine, though. Tony is a wreck, and I will absolutely not make fun of the guy for missing his kid, although maybe he could stand to toughen up a little on camera.

Someone has apparently alerted Emily to Tony blubbering away in the alley, so she comes to check on him. She tells us she knows exactly how he feels and she wishes there were something she could do to make him feel better. Uh, I have an idea or two, but Emily probably wouldn't appreciate them.

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