Bachelorette
Episode 2

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King Jeremy the Wicked

Back on the beach, DeAnna -- in a surprise move -- wants to talk about past relationships. Graham admits he just recently got out of a relationship, which didn't last very long, but was really the only serious relationship he's had. DeAnna of course references Brad again, which from now is grounds for immediate fast-forwarding. I mean, half of this scene is just the two of them sitting there silently. Later, it's more awkward small talk on the beach, this time in front of a campfire. In a talking head, DeAnna says Brad "didn't know what he wanted. That was his problem." OK, I'm invoking my new Brad rule. Fast-forward! It's all boring inane blather about love anyway. They also snuggle a little bit.

Meanwhile back with the bachelors, all the talk about sex is making Ryan the happy virgin uncomfortable. And he reveals to the group that he's a virgin, and the guys do that reaction, that "surprised-reaction-quickly-suppressed-in-favour-of-manly-respect" thing. It helps that Ryan doesn't seem as smug and holier-than-thou about it as he usually does in his talking-heads, with his talk about "values."

Oh, god. Okay, so back at the beach, DeAnna is forcing Graham to endure this god-awful lecture about how she at first she was positive he was going to get the rose at the end of the date, but then she started to think that he just wanted to be in love with anyone, not necessarily her, but now that she thinks he may be falling for her, she can now give him this rose and they can go stick their tongues down each other's throats.

Back at the guesthouse, Twilley has a heart-to-heart with Jason about how he's worried that DeAnna might be thinking some of the things Ryan was thinking, about how Twilley is just a clown. Jason encourages Twilley to talk to her about it, and show her the other side of Twilley. Yes, Jason -- with the heretofore-unmentioned three-year-old -- is all about being totally honest with DeAnna.

What this means is Twilley is stalking DeAnna -- I mean, waiting for DeAnna, when she and Graham arrive back from the date. After Graham and DeAnna kiss and canoodle, Twilley sits down with her and blathers on about how there's another side of him. We watch DeAnna's eyes glaze over, while over at the guesthouse Graham warns the other guys about how they're in for some serious interrogation. The other guys are more interested in ribbing Graham for being the first one to get a kiss. "She is a good kisser," Graham is only too happy to admit.

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Bachelorette

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