"A Group Date at a Dude Ranch"

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Daniel: D+ | Grade It Now!
Everybody Farts

Chris Harrison explains the rules -- again -- to the guys, who all have to pretend that they're interested in anything other than who's moving from the "outhouse" to Middlesex this time out. It's Paul, Graham and Jeremy, for receiving their roses last week. Richard's feeling really left out. Since he's specifically mentioned, that can only mean he's going to be up for a solo date later.

The chosen three stroll up to Middlesex, where DeAnna's lounging around in a bikini top, who says in a talking-head that she picked Jeremy because of their connection, she says she wants to get to know Paul better, and she thinks Graham is hot. "I want him to spend the rest of the time in my house without his shirt on," she says, because that's the best way to find a husband. Hold on -- throwing footballs at guys who try to catch them as they jump into the pool, that's the best way to find a husband.

Back at the outhouse, the other guys speculate as to what DeAnna and her three chosen ones are doing. Jason offers the amazing insight that living in the outhouse is a "huge disadvantage," while Robert crabs about Jeremy's going to be up there pulling his "white on rice" routine. I suppose if Robert were up there he'd be avoiding DeAnna and acting like he doesn't give a shit. "Jeremy's rubbed me the wrong way ever since we got here. He tries too hard, and that's not real," he says in a talking-head, when he actually means, "DeAnna likes him more, so that means he's somehow 'cheating' at this reality show." Meanwhile, DeAnna and her men smear sunscreen on each other, before she sends the guys down for the solemn reading of a date card, which is for Richard: "Join me for rooftop romance in the City of Angels. Love, Deanna." "Time to go big or go home, I guess," he tells the guys. In a talking-head, he says, "You can't help but think, here it is. Put up or shut up time." Why do so few guys just choose the "shut up" option?

DeAnna says Richard is so funny, so easy to get along with. She totters down to the guest house in a black dress and heels. "It's like she has a closet full of perfection," says the snowboarder, which is probably the only time that sentence has ever been uttered in the entire history of the English language.

Rooftop of landmark building for dinner. "If you've ever been to L.A., this is the best view," she tells Richard, and in a talking-head, he makes the predictable comment about DeAnna being a great view, and he seems to mean it genuinely (i.e. not about her breasts).

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