Bachelorette

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Blue DeAnna Song

Then we spend about five hours with the guys analyzing the contest, with Jesse agonizing over the date. "I'm so nervous for tonight, she's just too perfect to be true," he says in a talking head. As for the guys moving from the Outhouse to Middlesex, Brian jokes that they're losing their "cook, comic relief, and... uh...Jason." Hee!

So the guys -- who seem noticeably more relaxed without Ron around -- chat with Jesse about his date. Specifically, what he's going to wear. As if on cue, there's a knock on the door, with a suit, and a note saying the date is "formal attire." Wow -- that conversation about what Jesse's going to wear wasn't at all set up or anything, right? Because there's nothing guys enjoy more is sitting around asking other guys what they plan to wear on a date.

Jeremy gives Jesse a little lesson on doing up buttons on suit jackets. Jesse's freaked out about how good DeAnna's going to look, and she shows up in some blue thing. They make small talk in the limousine -- Jesse confesses that he's scared to death. They pull up at an old theatre where the marquee reads: "Jesse: One Night Only -- Just For You, Love Deanna." He wants to know if there's a another Jesse in the building. No, but there are eight other Jesses back at The Bachelor mansion. "This is out of control," he tells her, as she giggles and hugs him. She's excited because this night is all about him, and that makes her feel good. She is lying about this, which we will see. They enter the old theatre, where a formal dining table has been set up by the front of the stage. Out of control, he says again.

Back at the outhouse, we find out that Brian, Twilley, Sean, Jeremy, Graham and Jason are going on the group date. "Gentlemen, start your engines," is the clue. Again, the guys all shit themselves, even without knowing exactly what they're going to be doing. Although this is a pretty easy one to figure out. I'd just like the clues to be a little more cryptic, because I think the guys would still flip out. "Guys: it was the best of times, it was the worst of times." Yeah! WOO! Anyway, this also means that it's Robert versus Fred on the two-on-one.

Meanwhile, back on the solo date, DeAnna has apparently decided that making the date all about Jesse is getting old, so she makes him get up on stage and sing his crappy little song to her again. In a talking head, he talks about how he hasn't really told DeAnna why he's there, and he's got to, because there are eight other dudes after her. DeAnna needs to figure out what Jesse wants. Hopefully he wants some boring small talk, because that's what he's getting. He talks -- like EVERY OTHER GUY -- about how hard it is to open up, but that's what he's doing, because...oh, I don't even know anymore. DeAnna talks about being real, which is generally a sign that someone's being fake. Jesse says he's being more serious this evening, because every time he picks up the wine glass, there's a rose just sitting there. And he seriously wants to be here, and -- oh, I don't know. Let's say it was about growing and sharing, and bonding and opening up. And she gives him the rose, and they hug and kiss. "I don't feel pressured to try and have a relationship with him," says DeAnna. If you ask me, that doesn't exactly bode well.

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Bachelorette

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