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Evil 101

We cut upstairs to see Cordy, stone-faced, listening as Angelus imitates her. He whimpers in falsetto, "'Oh, Angel, we can't! I love you, but you were so bad. You ate babies!'" He grouses, "Chicks." Cary tells Cordy to ignore it, and Gunn offers to turn the television off. Cordy insists that she's fine. Fred repeats their mantra about how Angelus twists the truth. Angelus asks Wesley, "Which do you think is worse, Wes: stealing my kid like you did, or banging him like Cordelia?" Oops. Cordy sneers slightly. The rest of the gang looks at each other as Angelus describes "all that bumping and grinding, fire rainin' in the sky. Quite a picture. Well, more like a snapshot, 'cause, Connor..." Cary puts a hand on Cordy's shoulder as Fred insists that Angelus is being ridiculous. "Connor is Angel's son; it would be like sleeping with your --" She turns in time to see Cary making a "cut it" gesture. On the television, Angelus admits that Wesley thought he was doing the right thing. Suddenly a PA holds up a sign saying "Time to end the scene!" so Angelus growls, "Hey! Who's a guy gotta kill to get a drink around here?" The captioning substitutes "bang" for "kill," which I think is funnier. But that was still a very jarring line, in the bad way, because Angelus' sudden change of subject was way too abrupt.

Speaking of abrupt, there's a loud bang, and everyone upstairs turns to see that Connor has returned, looking a bit bloodied. I guess someone set the door on "slam dramatically," since half the time people come into the lobby without making a sound. Cordy asks what happened to him. Connor says, "They're coming from all over. Too many to fight." He notices everyone staring at him and snaps, "What?" Wesley returns and says that Angelus wants blood. Well, of course he does. He's a vampire. He also wants to kill you, are you going to let him do that, too? Please? I just don't understand why they care. I guess Angelus could refuse to talk until they fed him, but I don't really believe Angelus could make good on a threat like that. He's such a chatty guy. Oh well. Fred offers to go fetch some blood, and Gunn quickly says he'll go along.

Gunn and Fred enter the basement. Gunn's carrying a crossbow, and Fred is carrying a glass of blood. I hope it's actually plastic, or else that's inexcusably dumb. Anyway, as they walk downstairs, Angelus calls them Othello and Desdemona, then adds, "Oh, wait: Desdemona wasn't in love with the other guy." Fred goes to put the blood on a little cart while Angelus adds, "So much for 'Stand By Your Man.' Then again, you probably like her on her knees." Goodness. Gunn blusters that he'll dust Angelus. (I prefer alliteration, but assonance will do in a pinch.) Angelus asks if Gunn's boss would approve of that. Gunn says he doesn't have a boss, and Angelus sneers, "You might wanna tell Wesley that." He turns to Fred and says she looks "fresh and sweet." He continues, "But I hear you at night in your room with Gunn. The things you say...I'm lying there, listening, hands under the covers. I can't help myself; it's so...gripping." Yikes. And cool, because I think Angelus works best when he's telling the characters what Angel really thinks of them. Or what they'll believe Angel thinks of them. Whichever. Fred gasps, "You're a pig," illustrating just how overmatched she is here. Gunn makes Angelus back away from the bars as Fred wheels the cart toward the cage. There's a red line painted on the floor around the cage. Presumably to mark what's outside Angelus's reach. Well that's smart, at least. But the glass of blood is still dumb. Put it in a sippy cup, and then you can just toss it in from across the room. Plus: Angelus drinking from a sippy cup. Hee. Angelus reaches out to take the glass, and Fred stands there holding the cart, like a moron, when she should have moved away immediately, so after picking up the glass, Angelus kicks the cart. Fred doubles over as it hits her, and Angelus quickly reaches through the bars and grabs her. What did I say? Sheesh.

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