Episode Report Card
Strega: D | 1 USERS: D-

Later, Cordy runs by shouting, "Diego! Pants on!" Heh. Laura seems to be telling Angel her life story: "So with my Masters degree in Fine Arts, I was able to launch my very own business selling sandwiches downtown from a little cart." She goes on, fairly charmingly, and Angel fills in the awkward pauses...awkwardly. As a new tune starts, Laura asks Angel if he'd like to dance. And then we see the funniest ten seconds of Angel ever. Yes, even funnier than the time that guy's jaw jumped out of his mouth. It's just a few quick shots of Angel dancing. Badly. With lots of exaggerated facial expressions, and finger-pointing, and shimmying, and in every shot Laura is standing nearby, watching in utter horror. When it ends, we flash back to real-time as Angel tells Laura, "I don't dance." She goes to find someone who does, and Angel slinks off to the kitchen. A chair slides out from the table toward him. Angel says, "Hi, Dennis," and sits down. "How you doing? Still dead?" he asks. A can of non-product-placement beer opens and slides into his hand. Angel has a sip and says, "I know the feeling."

Elsewhere, some guy is picking up a beer of his own. From the ominous music, we know that either he's about to do something bad, or else something bad is about to happen to him. He is examining a large box covered with labels indicating "Hazardous materials -- do not open," leading me to suspect that the second option is more likely. He walks into an outer office, smashes his beer can flat, hides it inside a newspaper, and suddenly hears a wailing, moaning, creepy noise. Naturally, his reaction is to go right back in and open up that mysterious box. Dust and light fill the room as he looks down and says, "Holy God." So that's where the Arc of the Covenant ended up. And it contains the credits!

There's a blipvert of party highlights, which includes a close-up of the appetizers. I like it when they put strange shots in the blipverts; I think it's my reward for bothering to freeze-frame through the stupid things. Angel strolls into the office asking for his morning coffee. Cordy says, "They're still in bean form. I thought I ordered ground." She hands him the bag of coffee beans and suggests that he "crush the beans with [his] vampire strength." She encourages him to "Mush 'em!" and Angel seems to consider the idea for a moment before putting the bag down. He says that the party was fun, and Cordy responds, "I was so glad you came! You know how parties are; you're always worried that no one's gonna suck the energy out of the room like a giant black hole of boring despair, but there you were in the clinch!" The fashion police should be alerted that Cordelia is wearing a denim skirt with some kind of flowered panels at the bottom, and a blouse that's okay from the front, but ties like a halter around the middle of her back. Angel tries to defend himself, and mentions that he talked to Laura. "Laura thought you hated her. I had to tell her you were challenged," Cordy says. Angel explains, "I've got two modes with people: Bite, and avoid. Hard to shift. Plus, I can't get too close. I mean, with women --" "You can be nice," Cordy interrupts. Angel says he'll try harder, then asks, "Still, I mean, the quiet, reserved thing...don't you think it makes me kind of...I don't know, cool?" Cordelia points at Wesley, who enters just then, and says, "He was cooler." Ouch. Angel sits down with a sigh and says, "Now I'm depressed." Wesley compliments Cordy on the party and the food, asking if there are any leftovers. After Wesley hints for food a few more times, Angel asks Wesley if he's broke. Wesley tries to avoid the question until Angel asks, "Do you want a job?" "Oh yes, please," Wesley says. "I don't have much," Angel claims, despite all the evidence to the contrary, "but as long as you make yourself useful around here, you're entitled to a cut." Wesley tries to give Angel a hug, but Angel fends him off. Wesley then turns away, claiming that there's something in his eye. Cordy tells Wesley not to get "all sappy," and then suddenly tells Angel, "Hold me!" Angel gets as far as "Why don't we all just --" before Cordelia begins to collapse with one of her visions. We see the guy from the teaser with his personal Pandora's box. Then he gets rather red-faced. Not in an embarrassed way; more in a bloody-skin-peeling way. Then his eyeballs explode. Cordelia accurately summarizes, "Gross! Oh! Ew, is all! Ugh!" After recovering, she directs them to an ice factory downtown. Angel asks what they're looking for, and Cordy says, "A corpse."

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