Angel
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Angel vs. The Invisible Hand

Sam enters the vampire's nest and looks around cautiously before heading over to the piles of trophies. He picks up a watch, and that's when Angel grabs him. Angel takes the watch and demands to know why it's so valuable. He asks, "What's it do? Open a portal, raise an army?" Sam explains, "It glows in the dark." Angel releases Sam, who provides a little more explanation: "I told him to let 'em have it, but he wasn't about to give it up. It was the first thing I ever bought him." Aww. Angel confirms that the vampires killed Sam's beloved...uh, "friend," and that's why Sam had to retrieve the watch. Angel grumbles, "I didn't kill three vampires for nuthin'." Sam uh-ohs, "There were seven." They hear noises nearby. It seems like the number of baddies is the kind of information you should have gotten up-front, Angel.

Look Who's Not Talking, the TV show. The camera sits in a crib as Cordy leans over to gloat about all the money they're making. She's just about to put the suitcase of money in the safe when a vision hits. She left the money sitting out all this time, because the jumping in place was more important? Anyway, the vision tells her that Fred's in trouble. "Gee, that's a shame," she says, as she puts the money away, and prepares to fix the baby a big bottle of cyanide. Oh, I wish.

On The Weakest Link, Fred's close to solving the puzzle. Go, Fred, go!

Wesley tells Blondie that they've secured the house. Then there's a crash, and Gunn adds, "With the possible exception of the skylight in the kitchen." Zombrian enters shouting, "Allie! Allie, baby, I just wanted to let the recapper know what your name was, so I'll go now." Actually, Gunn clubs him early in that sentence, but I'm grateful, nonetheless. Allie runs to the bedroom while the men engage in fisticuffs. Gunn's still got his sharpened baseball bat, hooray. He and Wesley knock down Zombrian and valiantly...run into the bedroom. They're not really earning their pay here.

Cordy puts down the phone and tells the brat that nobody's answering her calls. So they're just gonna have to go wescue widdle Fwed demselves, won't they? Yes they will! Yes they will! Dear God, it's contagious. The end is nigh. Save yourselves.

Gunn and Wesley barricade the door while poor Zombrian wonders, "Why won't you talk to me?" Allie points out the obvious: "Because you're dead!" She grumps at the boys for not earning their keep. This is the other problem with working for hire; the client actually has to be satisfied with the result. Maybe they should form a non-profit. Zombrian shoves the door open and begs Allie for another chance. He asks who Wesley and Gunn are, and Wesley explains that they're protecting Allie. Zombrian is relieved, and sighs, "I thought you were dating them!" Allie snarls that Zombrian is suffocating her (not literally), and they all club him back from the doorway. After a moment of quiet, they open the door a crack and peer out. Zombrian is sitting in the living room, pouting. This is all really stupid, but I can kind of enjoy it on its own stupid level, because it's not trying to be anything else. Allie storms out to the living room, complaining that this is "so typical" of Zombrian. He insists that he just cares, and Allie points out that he read her diary and followed her to work. Which is funny, because that's, uh, typical stalking behavior, and maybe it's a little worrying that they're making this guy the lovable goof. But it's hard for me to get too worked up about it because did I mention it's all pretty stupid? Zombrian responds, "Does that give you a reason to poison me?" Oops. Wesley confirms that Allie killed her boyfriend, but Zombrian says all will be forgiven if she takes him back. Allie considers it, but hesitates: "No, I can't -- it's creepy!" Hee. Sure enough, after a moment they're hugging, and Wesley decides to live and let unlive: "Will that be cash or charge?"

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Angel

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