Episode Report Card
Strega: D | 3 USERS: C+

We open with a voiceover from Cordelia, describing what we see. "Aerial shot, downtown, skyscrapers, lights, yadda yadda yadda. We hear a narrator, preferably famous. Maybe that bald Star Trek guy, or one of the cheaper Baldwins." Are any of them expensive at this point? "And he says: It's a big, bad city out there. Cut to a woman walking down a dark, spooky street. We'll cast some beautiful young actress." The camera pans up to reveal Cordy as the woman in question. "Maybe some up-and-coming starlet whose career is on the verge of taking off. Anyway, she's all nervous, right? Mucho vulnerable. The voice guy --" I must interject that I like the touch of Cordy describing the narrator as the "voice guy." Also, is this what Wing and Sars meant when they said the show was self-recapping? Anyway: "The voice guy says, 'Danger lurks around every corner.' Boom! She's attacked by a big, ugly goon! With a knife!" A bald guy jumps out and grabs Cordy's purse. "She screams." Cordy doesn't so much scream as call out in an affected falsetto, "Help! Is there no one to help me?" The narration continues: "Well, now there's someone who will answer your call." The shot cuts to a man, backlit so that we can't see his face, his jacket flapping in the breeze. I think that this person might be Doyle, because it definitely isn't Angel. He races toward the goon, knocks him down, takes the purse back, and so on. "He'll protect you. And catch you when you fall. You can count on it." I scream at the no doubt unintended Babylon 5 reference. We finally see the face of this mystery savior as Angel (of course) turns to the camera and says, deadpan, "And you can count on me. 'Cause I'm the Dark Avenger." I snicker.

We cut to Angel sitting at his desk, looking the way he always looks, i.e. confused. "I'm the what?" he asks. "The Dark Avenger," says Cordy, who is aiming a handheld camera at Angel. Cordy explains that they can shoot this bit of cinematic excellence themselves, and that she'll "charm a post-production house into doing the effects and..." Angel gets up and heads for the elevator while Cordy continues her pitch, insisting that doing this ad could "get us out of the red, or the black, or whichever one means we're broke, 'cause that's us." Angel stares at her through the elevator grill as he descends into his Fortress of Solitude, where he will count all of his gold bullion and juggle his priceless Ming vases. Incidentally, Cordy is wearing a shirt that, from the front, appears to be a reasonable-looking sleeveless top of some kind. It even covers her midriff. When she turns around, however, we can see that it's held on with two inch-wide ties around her back, and another around her neck. Oy.

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