Harm's Way

Episode Report Card
Strega: D+ | Grade It Now!
Working Vamp

Cut to Harmony and Fred at a bar. Harmony's complaining about her life over a margarita. She tells Fred that she can't even quit her job, because she has nowhere else to go: "I tried being out on my own, all independent and evil. I'm just no good at it." Fred asks, "Isn't that a good thing?" I think Fred's assuming that, if Harmony's no good at being evil, she must be good at being good. The truth is that Harmony's just incompetent no matter what. Fred tells Harmony not to take Angel's pathological hatred personally, and insists, "He has a lot on his mind." Harmony tells Fred, "I wish I were more like you. Y'know, except for the part about being all into science and not having a lot up front." What does that leave? The miniskirts? The babbling? I think Harmony's already got those things. Harmony finally explains that Fred has two hotties after her, and tells Fred about all the office gossip about Gunn and Knox and Wesley. Well, she doesn't share all of the gossip about Wesley. Fred stammers that they all work together, "and there's a lot of baggage"; she then interrupts herself to wonder why she's sharing this with Harmony. Harmony insists, "Because we're totally bonding! We're like gal pals -- this is awesome!" She suggests that Fred can teach her about life, and she can teach Fred how to dress. I think Fred's getting the better half of that deal. Well, she lived in a cave for five years, come on. Oh, hang on, does this mean that Fred's outfits are supposed to be awful? That's somewhat reassuring.

Fred starts to gossip about her feelings for Knox and Wesley, but just as the audience is collectively about to jump off a bridge because nobody freaking cares about Fred's love triangles, she stops to ask why anyone cares about her love life. "That's what we've been saying for years," the audience sighs. Harmony explains that everyone wants to know what's happening with the bigwigs, then grumbles, "You'd think they'd ask me, but...." Fred guesses that Harmony doesn't have any friends at Wolfram & Hart. Harmony admits, "I used to be way popular in high school. Just since I got vamped at my graduation I've had trouble connecting with people." You weren't really "connecting with people" when you were popular, Harmony. You were bullying them. Fred tells Harmony to "put herself out there," and then there's a very odd conversation to establish that vampires refer to humans as "straight." I can't wait to read the essays which use this conversation to accuse Mutant Enemy of gay-bashing, because they're equating the soulless undead to homosexuals. Or maybe they're subverting the metaphor and questioning our cultural biases about what "evil" is, and implying that Buffy was committing hate crimes. Personally, I think it's just a joke that isn't very funny, but don't mind me. Anyway, this somehow leads to Fred's suggesting that Harmony should try dating some live humans for a change. It's nice that they're still using the fact that Fred's insane as a plot point. That is what they're doing here, right? Harmony confesses that a guy at the bar has been looking at her. Fred starts to turn to look at the guy, but Harmony quickly yanks her back, which will be important later, so I'll complain about it then. Fred encourages Harmony to go talk to him, and Harmony says she couldn't abandon Fred, but is easily convinced that she can. She stops long enough to ask Fred for advice on how to hit on a guy, which ranks with Buffy getting flirting advice from Willow on the list of "least plausible character interactions ever." Fred tells Harmony to ask the guy where he's from and what he does for a living. "Cover the boring stuff!" Harmony summarizes. "Only -- maybe act like it's not?" Fred suggests. Harmony heads for the bar, and Fred tells herself, "I'll just...go."

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