Episode Report Card
Strega: B- | 2 USERS: A
Careful What You Wish For

Props to Teenes and Autodidact.

A doctor named Rabinaw exits a gated psychiatric ward. Even the crazies are getting snooty and want to keep out the riff-raff. Rabinaw stops to chat with a nurse, and sees that she's doing a crossword puzzle. He asks for one of the clues, and she reads, "In a mellifluous manner. Seven letters, ends in a 'Y.'" He thinks about it and then says, "Give me another one." It seems like the answer should be "sweetly." It also seems like this is an in-joke of some kind, so maybe it isn't "sweetly" after all. Or maybe the point is that he's not very good at crossword puzzles. Maybe I'm overanalyzing. The puzzling (the doctor's and mine) is interrupted when another nurse calls for Rabinaw. He hurries into another gated corridor.

A patient named Philip has collapsed after taking his meds. Hey! They said "meds" instead of "drugs" this time. Good for them. Rabinaw checks him and asks the nurse how much lithium she gave Philip. The nurse whoopsies that she gave him Thorazine. The doctor abandons his unconscious patient (nice one, doc) and frantically looks through the nurse's notes to find out who missed his or her dose of Thorazine. He stops at one page and moans, "Oh, God." Just then, crashing noises start up.

Rabinaw calls for a goon (I think they're probably called "orderlies," but for the purpose of this episode they're goons) and enters another gated section of hallway. The crashes are coming from a door at the end of the hall. Then the crashes stop, and so do Rabinaw and the goon. Just as Rabinaw sighs with relief, the door is knocked off its hinges. Thank goodness Slayers and vampires are mortal enemies, because if they ever teamed up, we'd be living in a world without doors. A girl walks out into the hall, and we finally find out whatever happened to Skank of Rick. Apparently, she's now a crazy girl named Dana. I can tell Dana's crazy, because her hair is brushed forward in a tangled mass over her face. And I don't mean just a little. Someone took a brush and pulled it all forward over her face and shoulders so that we'd know she's crazy. The hospital gown and the glazed look on her face wouldn't have been enough of a clue. Rabinaw tries to speak soothingly as he and the goon retreat and close the gate. Another goon arrives just as Dana sees a needle in Rabinaw's hand, and promptly pulls the gate apart. The goons start waving clubs around, and get beaten up for their trouble. Then Dana sees a cart of medical gear and picks up a bone saw that just happened to be lying around in this psychiatric ward. This hospital gets creepier every minute. While Dana looks over the saw, one of the orderlies sneaks up and clubs her over the head. Dana reacts by swinging the saw out and doing something I think we can assume is fatal to the orderly's neck. Rabinaw runs away, and Dana turns to the other orderly, who's moaning on the floor. She bends over him with the axe, and then there are some impressively gross sound effects. Dana stands up and turns to face the camera as she draws bloody lines down her face with her fingertips.

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