Angel
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Angel vs. The Too-Accurate Metaphor

Um, so I actually missed the teaser. I was very busy. Okay, I was half-asleep on the couch, and it was 8:30, and then suddenly it was 9:03. Sorry about that. The annoying part, from my point of view is that -- you know those Verizon ads? With the "Can you hear me now?" guy? I've heard about them endlessly, but I hadn't seen one until last Thursday. I'm not sure how that's possible, since they seem to be everywhere, and I watch a lot of TV. I think I just tune out the commercials. Anyway, I'd mentioned this odd fact to Johanna last week, and during the first commercial break she called me to say, "There, now you've seen one!" because there was a new Angel-specific ad right after the credits. But that's when I was turning on the TV and cueing up the VCR and cursing vigorously, so I missed it. Sad. I did find out what happened in the teaser eventually. Phew.

So, previously on Angel, everybody got lovey-dovey, and lived in a magical happy land where nothing bad ever happened, and nobody had any reason to feel guilty or worry about the future, and the biggest problem facing the characters was how to get some nookie. Continuing one of this season's many bewildering trends, we start just a few minutes after the last episode ended. In Angel's room, we watch Cary watch Angel watch Connor. Angel starts in with, "I remember him being taller," and Cary replies, "They don't actually get smaller until they're very, very old." Angel means Groo, of course, and insists that Groo is short. Cary humors Angel, suggesting that "once Cordelia gets him home, she'll just pop him into a smallish drawer, and that will be that." Heh. Angel seems surprised that Cordy is taking Groo to her place, but insists that it doesn't bother him one bit. Cary smells Cordy's perfume on Angel's jacket, and Angel explains that they had another one of their wacky supernatural experiences, but he's really, truly, honest and for true, not interested in Cordelia. He says he's been single most of his unlife, after all. Way to dismiss poor Darla. Sheesh. Angel puts the coat away. Then he pulls it out and sniffs it. Because he loooooves Cordy. Or because he realized that if it really stinks of perfume, he should probably take it to the dry-cleaner.

At Cordy's, Groo briefly explains how he was dethroned: "Committees splintered into factions, the factions into coalitions, the coalitions turned into subcommittees, until finally the more radical element, spurred by a charismatic leader, did the dance of revolution." He wasn't too upset about it, though. And then he used the magic books to open a portal, because that's super-easy to do, and popped into this dimension, where he immediately spotted one of the "Angel Investigations" fliers and headed straight for the Hyperion. That's just my guess. Hey, if it's so easy for Pyleans to get to Earth, isn't that kind of bad? What with Pylea being full of Trombli baddies and violent Drokken beasts and such? Oh well. Cordy subtly checks to see if maybe Groo's found himself a new girlfriend in Pylea, but without the subtle part, and Groo says there was nobody else. They kiss, and suddenly instead of seeing Groo, Cordy is looking at a nasty spine-covered monster. And then it's Groo again, asking if she's okay. Credits.

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Angel

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