Conviction (1)

Episode Report Card
Pilot Light

Angel is still fighting the ninja. Man, and I thought the courtroom was dull. At last, only Hauser is left, aiming a shotgun at Angel. Angel devamps and reminds Hauser that the gun won't kill him. Hauser says, "It'll hurt. That part's fun." Then Hauser decides that a long speech will hurt even more, and he's right, but what did I ever do to him? One of the collapsed ninjas wakes up and pulls his mask off so that he can listen as Hauser asks if Angel believes that he can make everything right at Wolfram & Hart. He sneers, "You pathetic little fairy." Angel sniffs, "I'm not little." On a side-note, can I just repeat something I said a while ago: for there to be homoeroticism, there must be some eroticism. Jokes that rely on "Ha! That means gay!" for a punchline aren't homoeroticism, they're just leftovers from Will & Grace scripts. Hauser goes on talking, and talking, saying, "I am something you will never be. I'm pure. I believe in evil. You and your friends -- you're conflicted, you're confused. We're not. That is why you are gonna lose, because we possess the most powerful thing in the world: conviction." Finally, we have a title! Woo! Angel insists that there's one thing more powerful than conviction. I write down, "If he says 'hope,' I quit." Luckily (?) he says "Mercy" instead. Any typos in this recap are due to the fact that I still haven't been able to stop rolling my eyes. Then Angel kicks the shotgun up so that it lodges under Hauser's chin, and then I guess Hauser jerks his finger, because: kerpow. Hauser's body collapses. As Angel walks down the hall, the remaining ninja gasps, "What happened to mercy?" Angel grunts, "You just saw the last of it." What? What? So it's more powerful than conviction, but Angel doesn't plan to use it, so seriously, what?

Eve-vert. Eve and the MoG have gathered in Angel's office yet again. Eve explains that they enhanced Gunn by giving him "a comprehensive knowledge of the law." Gunn snips the end off a cigar while the others wonder why Gunn didn't get their opinion of the idea. Gunn insists that he's not evil: "All I got stuck in my head was the law. And for some reason, a messload of Gilbert and Sullivan." Eve says that's standard: "Great for elocution." Angel asks how Gunn can be sure, but Gunn says that the man in the white room doesn't lie. Fred is wearing a miniskirt and ankle boots, but no stockings. I think that's actually a fashionable look right now, but it shouldn't be. Eve says, "You needed a lawyer to get by here." Oh lawd, this gets more terrifying every minute. "Charles had the most unused potential." Eaaaaaah! Don't use that word! That scared the crap outta me. She adds, "His degrees are all forged, but he's the real deal." Gunn offers to sing for Cary as a test of his intentions, and Eve points out that Gunn saved the day non-violently. After a final "Yay, team," she exits with more hip-wiggling than seems strictly necessary.

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