America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
Slaughterhouse Jive

The girls get ready to go to elimination. Quite mysteriously, Amis is sleeping. Anya tells her that she has 20 minutes. Hey! We haven't heard from Anya all episode! I think the editors needed a break. Marvita tries to rouse Amis, while Fatima confessionalizes her disgust. Amis doesn't understand why everyone is so up in arms, and says that getting dressed takes two seconds. Well, for her. And that's why she looks like she does. She slaps on a weird headband and a hoodie, accessorizing herself with orange juice and grapes. Stacy-Ann interviews that Amis was most likely trying to show off her personality, but everyone with a brain knows that Tyra will tell her that that particular ensemble isn't right for the judging room. "Everyone with a brain" clearly doesn't include Amis. She's in trouble.

Stop! Panel time! We are welcomed into panel by a photo of a dazed-looking Tyra eating, like, a 20 ounce raw steak. I think that might be a candid. There are prizes, there are judges. Tyra sings the judges' names. Because she is crazy. Seriously, bitch has lost her mind, if not her voice. Bryan Bradley of Tuleh is the guest judge.

Stacy-Ann is up first. Nigel is disappointed that Stacy-Ann seems so removed from the props, and wants to see some angst and passion. Miss J. criticizes her for her standard, Modeling 101 pose. Tyra tells Whitney how fabulous she looks, and compliments her for showing some meat -- plus-sized meat, that is -- in her photo. Tyra points out that Whitney is wearing meat drawers. Bryan likes that her photo is comedic yet sexy. Paulina says that she doesn't know who came up with the photo shoot, but it's a metaphor for being a model. If you want to be in this industry, Tyra adds, you have to be prepared to be treated like a side of beef. Overall, Whitney did a good job.

Not so good is Aimee, who looks like a beefy mannequin. Bryan says that she looks nervous in her photo, and like she just faded away. Tyra asks what was up with her, and Paulina says that Aimee looks like she smelled something bad and/or like she was too good to be there. She had her special Mormon meat underpants all in a twist. Then we have Katarzyna, who says it felt amazing to win the challenge. Nigel thinks that her picture is interesting, her body looks good, and there's a story. Tyra likes the way that Katarzyna is holding her meat skirt, but she thinks that there's something missing. Katarzyna isn't understanding her body and her face isn't enough to make her photos truly magical. Fatima's photo is not spectacular. Her legs look short, and her film was full of the bottom-teeth snarl. Paulina asks if Jay and the photographer asked her to stop and do something different with her face. Fatima says they might have, but she didn't hear them. Well, there's a great excuse. Paulina tells Fatima that she has to listen.

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America's Next Top Model




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