America's Next Top Model
Where The Girls Are

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Bring On Some Fresh Meat, Already

Next up is Season 3 Ann. We get clips of her crying about the whole Eva thing, and then cut to a weepy present-day Ann who acknowledges that she's crying on television again. Ann is so gorgeous it's sick. She's also very shiny and red in her interview, almost like she's had a bad chemical peel or something. She says the most surprising thing she's learned about herself is that she can actually be a model. She explains that she was an athlete and never gave a damn about the way she looked or thought that she was particularly pretty. Shortly after the show ended, she got a call from Elite Model Management, which now represents her. We see Ann working out, and she says she's been busier in the past year than ever before in her life, and that if she gets a chance to work out, it negates some of the stress. She says that life in New York is a lot different than what she's used to. She explains the casting process, and we see her in action. She says that runway work is most fun for her, and notes that she's done runway work for Cynthia Rowley, Richard Tyler, and hater of thighs Marc Bouwer. She's also been in GQ twice, in Italian Glamour, and got the cover of D.C. Style. We see some photos, and she looks really, really great and/or like a young Priscilla Beaulieulieulieu Presley. I really do think that Ann's the most modelesque contestant the show has ever had. She feels very lucky, desires success, and will do anything she has to to achieve it. Well done, Ann.

Next is fellow gorgeous brunette Yoanna. We see footage of Yoanna winning, and then present-day Yoanna, who has one of those super-blunt-banged haircuts and does not look as good as one might hope. She says that she was in a daze when she won, and felt like she had finished the race. She wondered what would happen next. Unfortunately for Yoanna, the answer was "not too much." She talks about how busy she was the first year after she won, and how much she traveled, and says in a very scripted way that she went on "castings and go-sees galore." I mean, we all know that Yoanna didn't exactly set the world on fire, so I don't know why there's all the pretense. I would actually love to hear someone talk about how they struggled, because I think that's a more realistic and interesting story. Which leads me to mention that Adrienne and Elyse are conspicuously absent from this special. How I wish that we could see them have a little on-camera reunion. Yoanna tells us that she's now being represented by IMG Models, and that she's grateful for all of the positive changes in her life. She hosts a show on the Style Network called The Look for Less. ["Ah, the launching pad that vaulted Elisabeth Filarski-Hasselbeck onto The View. That show has a lot to answer for." -- Wing Chun] We see clips in which it appears as though Yoanna is quite terrible, but happily so. She says that the show is fun, and that she gets to work with celebrity stylists to try to recreate designer runway looks on a budget. She's also been corresponding backstage at the Los Angeles and New York Fashion Weeks. She says that the biggest thrill of all is being independent and not having to rely on a man or anything. What radical and forward thinking! Perhaps Betty Friedan has been reincarnated as Yoanna. She says that the ANTM experience and living in New York have made her tougher. She gives us her formula for modeling success: dream big, plan big, and go for it.

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America's Next Top Model

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