America's Next Top Model

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Hi, everybody. So, if you'll indulge me, I'm going to have a snark-free moment before the recap begins. Last week a friend of mine, Andrea Coller, passed away. I knew Andrea from a writing retreat that I attend about twice a year, and I was always blown away by how talented she was. A few months ago, Andrea learned that she had won Glamour magazine's non-fiction writing contest. Her essay about living with cancer, along with a short interview, came out a few days ago. If you are so inclined, please pick up the magazine (May issue) or read her piece online here. It is, as every bit of her writing I had the privilege of hearing, absolutely stunning.

Okay, now down to business. Previously on ANTM: Rome! The girls moved into their phat pad (how do you say that in Italian?) and Fatima wasted no time in contracting the Italian flu. A Cover Girl commercial in Italian proved to be a big challenge for Dominique, Anya, and Whitney, but Fatima and Katarzyna were easy and breezy. Poor Lauren got an extra helping of awkwardness with Alfredo sauce, and was sent home with the sturdy advice that she should stick to the non-speaking type of modeling. Five bitches remain!

It is evening in Rome. The girls return home after elimination. Whitney reminds us that she was in the final two at judging, and that the panel found her very fake in her commercial. She tells us that it's nerves that bring all that fakeness to the surface, and it's something she's going to have to change. Whitney tells Anya that she always feels like she's going to break down in tears at panel. Anya, who is smarter than I give her credit for, tells Whitney that that's what the panel wants to see -- emotion. The more breakdown-like/groveling it is, the better your chances of survival. Fatima interviews that Whitney's freaking out. Fatima could care less, because she's fixated on how well her commercial went. She thinks she's a natural, and that she's been improving a lot. It's quite a feat to improve so much that you become a natural, isn't it? Dominique asks Fatima who her competition is, and Fatima smiles blankly and says she has no competition. Dominique notes that this is true in Fatimaland, which is ruled by Princess Fatima and has no other inhabitants. Except for the unicorns, of course, for transportation. Fatima notes that her continuous improvement is threatening to the other girls.

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America's Next Top Model

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