America's Next Top Model
The Girls Who Go To Milan

Episode Report Card
Djb: B | Grade It Now!
Fellini Meeny Miney Mo

Yoanna aces the go@#$&&%sees. Her photo is perfect, her body looks great, and Nigel says that it's a side he hasn't seen of her. Wow. She should try "collecting" "some" "more" "matches" from now on.

April is too technical! I can't believe they're trotting this out again. Eric complains that she looks like "a corpse," but Janice has slightly more florid death imagery on hand, noting, "This photograph looks like the batteries died in her vibrator." Can we leave that? Let's leave that.

They all love Shandi. This time, the body works for Nigel. Tyra loves April, but Eric notes that "she's thinking, instead of feeling it." Camille is so done. Mercedes is "too commercial." Gettin' late in the season, people.

Congratulations, Shandi. You're still in the running toward become America's Next Top Model. As is Yoanna. As is April. Mercedes and Camille will please to step forward. Tyra tells Camille that she is "undeniably beautiful," but that her aggression is becoming a bit of a problem. Mercedes, on the other hand, is there just for her personality. But she's too commercial, in a way that makes Tyra muse, "Will the fashion industry believe it?" Mercedes bursts into tears, so Tyra doesn't prolong it anymore, finishing the sentence only a few tears later, "Maybe the world will believe it." Camille stands stock still for a moment, and then slo-mo hugs a tearless room because nobody cares.

"This is something that I wanted," Camille tells us in crazy close-up. She tells us that she's going to use this experience "to make Camille a better Camille," and as she fades from the Back to the Future photo screen, you can't help feeling that we're already seeing a far better Camille in the absence of any kind of Camille at all.

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America's Next Top Model




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