America's Next Top Model
The Girls The Lionesses Are Hunting

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 1 USERS: A+
XX Why?

Previously on ANTM: Kahlen's friend died, but Kahlen was still fierce. Christina had to look like lust, but was not fierce. And despite a fierce picture, Tatiana's brain was not fierce, and so she was sent home. Fiercely. Six girls remain! Who will be eliminated next? I can hardly stand the suspense!

It is night. Christina and Brittany talk about how nerve-wracking the competition has become. They discuss the last elimination, when Tyra noted that one of the final two girls wanted it more than the others. Brittany says she was sure that Tatiana was going home at that point, because Michelle wants to win the competition more than any girl there. Michelle says that being in the final two was scary, and that she thought she was going home. She interviews that she now has to step up not only in the photo shoots but in the challenges as well. And there was something about the combination of Michelle talking to Brittany and Christina, the flashback of her looking mildly crazed at judging, and her dark roots and red face in the interview that made my non-ANTM-watching girlfriend say, "I'd like to see an hour show all about her." Meanwhile, Naima and Kahlen look at giant blow-ups of their photo-booth shoots from the beginning of the season and talk about how much they've changed. It's been a transformative three weeks, I guess.

Tyra Mail! "Are you born to be wild? Be ready at 8:30 AM." Someone goes, "Animals?" and brilliant, pre-med Keenyah yells, "MUSIC VIDEOS!" And for a moment I am struck with the fear of the Lord that Tyra has released a follow-up to "Shake Ya Body (Body)." I even yelled out, "Why God, why?" in my head. Keenyah interviews that all of the girls need to step it up, and that she wants to win more than anyone does. But not more than she wants a tasty cheese Danish! Brittany screams, "Born to be naked!," and then does a little dorky dance that makes Keenyah and Christina laugh. She may be a fool, but Brittany is my secret favorite.

In the van on the way to their day's activity, Keenyah asks how many carbs are in the bagel upon which she's chowing down. Brittany says either sixteen or sixty-eight. I might be able to read her lips but for the GIANT PIECE OF FOOD THAT FELL FROM THEM. Sister has no manners. Keenyah interviews that carbs are both her enemy and her friend. She loves their tasty goodness, but also needs to be skinny if she is to succeed as a model. Brittany interviews that Keenyah has gained about ten pounds and can snack like no other. We then see several cuts of Keenyah shoving a bagel in her mouth. But, like, we all know it's the same bagel, editors. If you want us to understand that she's a fatty, just show us her actual body, or make someone say, "At this point, she's almost as big as Tyra."

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America's Next Top Model




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