America's Next Top Model
The Girls Meet Taye Diggs

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Potes: B+ | Grade It Now!
Turning Japanese

Now it is really time for the judges to deliberate. Norelle gets raves for her umeboshi reading. Tyra says that Norelle delivered her lines with " that a word?" and pronounces the "ch." Tyra is all judeo-fabulous tonight, isn't she? Amanda didn't connect with the products that she was selling, and seems to be relying on the fact that she is gorgeous. Janice says that Amanda looks alien-esque, and Tyra is all, "What's wrong with that?" The judges are surprised at how likeable Ann was, and Tyra says that Ann was leading the pack tonight, which was a shocker. Tyra passes around Yaya's picture, and Janice says, "I've seen better faces on iodine bottles." Jigga-wha? See, she looks all clear-faced and lucid, and it's deceiving. The panel thinks that Yaya is beautiful, but was completely out of line when spitting out the umeboshi. Tyra says, "I feel like a little bit of it is pompous with her." "A little bit"? Please. Madonna's British accent is all, "I can't even be in the same room with that bitch." Nicole is pretty, but blah. Or, as Janice says, "Beyond blah." Eva's commercial was a disaster, or as Nigel says, "A cocoa puff mess." Can we please get the judges translators? Janice says that when Eva stands in front of the panel, she smolders.

Six girls return. Only five will remain in the running toward becoming America's Next Top Model. The first name Tyra calls is Ann's. Tyra says that "Miss Stiff Ann in the picture" blew all of the other girls away. Ann actually looks mildly pissed, and I'm not sure why. Eva's name is called second. Norelle, to her credit, gives a big smile. Eva, along with the rest of the world, looks surprised. I mean, honestly. Her commercials blew and her name was called second. Tyra says that it's because of her voice, and that the sound and tone of a model's voice is important. Man, that was so obvious. Norelle is called next, and Ann looks happy when Norelle joins her in the winners' circle, since she is guaranteed another day of conjugal bliss in Tokyo. Amanda is also still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model.

Will Yaya and Nicole please step forward? PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET RID OF YAYA. Nicole, blah blah blah, unmemorable. Tyra says that it was difficult for the judges to remember anything about Nicole that stood out. See, in this world, plain old competence is simply not rewarded. Tyra says to Yaya, "It is important for a model to respect a product. This is not the first week where the judges have felt that you have insulted a product." Yaya? You stood on this pedestal and acted like the umeboshi tasted like dookie. Apologize to the umeboshi, Yaya. The umeboshi then walks out wearing a tiny black t-shirt emblazoned with the word, "Respeito." Tyra says, "A top model has to be humble, and likeable." Oh, tell your lies to Naomi Campbell's phone-beaten assistant. Tyra then gives Yaya her photo, and recommends that she go to the nearest Japanese bakery and order the biggest slice of humble pie she can find. Nicole is going home. Nicole tearfully says goodbye to the other girls. She interviews that she didn't stand out, but that no matter what the judges said, she didn't give up. We are treated to Nicole's portfolio, which is really, really good. She says that getting there was a feat in itself, but that it's not like becoming America's Next Top Model. Her likeness fades from the group photo, which is a bit redundant since apparently no one could remember that it was there in the first place.

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America's Next Top Model




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