America's Next Top Model

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 2 USERS: A+
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Shanghaijinx!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: The girls were model muses for budding fashion designers, but Heather fumbled on the runway and felt fustration over her harsh critique. A photo shoot with a burning car in the hot, hot desert inspired creativity in some, and ass in Heather, Lisa, and Ambreal. All of the girls learned that they had to pack their bags, y'all. Six of them were going to China, but Ambreal was just going home. Six bitches remain!

We begin with the girls preparing to go to China. Bianca yells that they got China books, then helpfully adds, "Chiiiiinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" They pack like lunatics -- no one has apparently learned the wrinkle-free rolling method -- and Heather tells us that she's always wanted to go to China. That's because she's a fire sign, isn't it? Lisa, meanwhile, is a bit traumatized from being in the bottom two. She says that she's been strong for so long, but now it seems like the harder she tries, the harder she falls. God, I just want to give her, like, a balloon animal hat or a red, white, and blue popsicle or something. Stop being so freakin' sad, Lisa, you're bumming me out! Bianca asks Heather -- who's sitting on the floor packing -- if she could move so that Bianca could get out of the room. Heather continues to sit on the floor and pack without even acknowledging that someone has spoken to her. Bianca interviews that Heather is really annoying, and that she has to speak to her more than she has to speak to her little sister. Saleisha finally asks Heather to move so that Bianca can get through, and Heather does. Maybe Heather just turned off the Bianca frequency in her Asperg-ear? Bianca interviews that everyone there is Heather's mom, which is annoying, and then quietly adds, "Send her ass home," before cracking up and saying that she's mean and takes that back, though it would be easier if they did. And I do enjoy Heather, but I think that if I were actually in the house, I'd probably be a little annoyed by now.

Saleisha reminds us of how beautiful their house was before saying, who cares, they're going to China, and adding, "Let's get this party on the road." That's better than, "Let's have a party in your pants," but only slightly. Heather trails as the other girls yell, "Bye, Heather! We're going to China!" Okay, that's kind of mean. Heather is inexplicably dressed to the nines for their trip. We see the little animated plane with the girls' faces leave from L.A. and land in Shanghai approximately two seconds later. I imagine a lot of Thanksgiving travelers saw this and beat their TVs with turkey drumsticks.

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America's Next Top Model

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