America's Next Top Model
The Girl With The Worst Photo In History

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Brandy, You're a Fine Girl

Previously on America's Next Top Model: Brandy lost her big ol' 'fro but kept her big ol' 'tude and everybody knew it; Rebecca's eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted in the middle of judging, and not because of the usual Janice Dickinson "too many Quaaludes" reasons; and Sarah's lack of confidence (read: complete absence of remotely attractive facial features) got her sent home. Twelve girls remain, and one of them will soon have flesh-eating bacteria. Life is good.

Los Angeles. Cars are everywhere, using up the precious remnants of the world's fossil fuels. Rebecca sits in her bedroom. She explains to us that, at the previous panel she felt nauseated for a few seconds, and then got fuzzy black and white tunnel vision, and then -- and we once again see the footage -- she fainted backwards. This all happened so quickly that no one had time to yell "timber." She says that she's had vagus nerve problems since she was three, and that her condition is not fatal but can be scary. She says she's going to be okay. Lluvy asks if Rebecca still feels sluggish, and Rebecca says her shoulder hurts. If those other girls had been thinking, one of them totally could have put a stake/stiletto heel won as a challenge prize somewhere underneath Rebecca as she was falling. Rebecca interviews that her condition will not affect her modeling career, and that it's time to move on. And so we do.

The girls yawn. Brittany says that she was almost eliminated due to her sex-kitten vibe, and we see Tyra telling her that her photo looks like a porno cover. This is kind of baffling to me, since as soon as Brittany opens her mouth, it's apparent that she's a big old dork. Brittany wants to show that she has a different look, and does not want to look like someone who does porn, which is understandable.

Brandy is cooking while the other girls make a queue to use the phone. They decide to go from East Coast to West Coast due to time zone differences, and it's all very sensible and reasonable. Then comes Brandy. She says something unintelligible, which is kind of de rigueur for her. But basically, she wants to use the phone and is pissed off that the other girls have formed a line without her. They tell her that they've all been waiting, and she wasn't out there, so she is shit out of luck. Brandy is mad. Tatiana interviews that Brandy started freaking out, and Brittany interviews that she has an attitude problem. We can kind of see these things for ourselves, but thanks for the reinforcement, show. Also, shut up, Brandy. Brittany adds that Tiffany will often try to keep Brandy in check.

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America's Next Top Model




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