America's Next Top Model
The Girl Whose Lips Puffed Up

Episode Report Card
Djb: A | 1 USERS: A+
Camille-y Mouthed

Shandi is supposed to use the same line to make the panel laugh, and it doesn't work. April works the crowd with humor, and Sara, smelling blood in the water, resorts to guerilla tactics and runs onto the platform containing the judges' table, screaming her line. Everyone seems to enjoy it, but Janice recoils a bit, barely containing a shout of "Not too close or they'll know I'm made of pinecones!" I don't know what that means. She's just kind of pointy, is all.

"Convince me that you're funny! Just once!" Janice screams out to Yoanna, which causes her to turn to the panel and lift up her skirt. Everyone applauds. I'm singing the no-lives-on-Pac-Man music again because the game is over.

And now, to the photo shoot. Yoanna's photo is deemed everything from "fabulous" to "beautiful," but Nigel decries her uneven posture, which is pretty amazing find in a black and white photo that only features her face. Shandi's photo comes across as "bland," and Janice makes Tyra do the thing where she goes from dead eyes to, like, not dead eyes. Everyone laughs, and I think I remember this being the only thing I heard about last season of this show. April is an all-around winnah. Mercedes is "so pretty," according to Janice. Camille sucks and has to work on her diction, and the photo comes across as an actor's headshot with no neck. Camille, of course, answers back. Sara has a "nice" look in her eye, but it's not enough. Catie looks like Peter Pan, and Nigel is all, "it looks very Peter Pan." Janice calls it "child prostitute," and I love her for doing my work for me.

And now, to the closed-door sniping. April is "ooooh"ed and "aaaaah"ed over for both her television commercial and her photo. Janice liked Sara in the acting exercise. Shandi can do "high fashion," according to Tyra, but Janice isn't into her "Paris Hilton wannabe." Well, then, help her out of it by not returning her to the hilarious sticks of backwater America, won't you? Nigel has to get off of Yoanna's body type, and he says he wouldn't want to see her in a bathing suit. Well, just flip through the Freshman during her swimsuit competition then, sir. Tyra -- who clearly likes Yoanna -- shoots back, "Isn't it weird with models? It's like a house. Like, damn it's gorgeous, but the kitchen sucks. Everybody's got something. I've got something." Hee. Nigel doesn't like Yoanna's kitchen. Everyone likes Mercedes. Nobody likes Catie. Janice doesn't want to work with Camille. Nigel thinks she's "rude and aggressive," and Manager Guy thinks her drive can take her far. I'm not so into Camille's attic. But her family room is the only one out of all of these girls that doesn't make her cry.

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America's Next Top Model




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