America's Next Top Model
The Girl Whose Lips Puffed Up

Episode Report Card
Djb: A | 1 USERS: A+
Camille-y Mouthed

Upstairs, the girls are outfitted in black leather and sunglasses and things, and off the ground they go among strobe lights and techno music. Camille and April score, while Catie tells us that she thinks she's going to fall to her death. "Her behavior toward everything right now -- people are gonna get fed up with it. It's gonna catch up with you in the end," Sara tells us of Catie, and anyone who doesn't have to watch this show with 10% of his god-given digits plunged constantly into the pause button can hear time just ticking away.

Dialogue about chips and top models (er, "Top Models") ensues, Camille speaking in something of a British accent, I think. She tells us that she thinks she did very well. Maybe Catie's flat delivery would be good for delivering the side effects of Rolittos Chips and remind us that it caused some people to be prone to dry mouth, big lips, and cast-iron self-delusion.

Back at the ZoLoft, Mercedes muses on who might be the next one out of The Cutting Room: "It is Yoanna?" NO! It most certainly is NOT. "Is it Camille, because of her attitude? It could be Catie, 'cause she seems, like, immature." Catie tells us that the competition is tight, and that none of them can be confident about being there anymore. Blah bleedee blah State The Obvious Anderson.

Cutting Room Floor (oooh, I liked that one! At least until I wondered whether or not it was better than "Catwalk...Into Hell!). Tyra welcomes her pretty, pretty pets back, and after the prizes, we re-meet our jury: Janice Dickinson has brought her double-stick tape and two coast's worth of American's Next Twelve Top Boob Jobs to bear on her slinky black dress. Eric Nicholson is wearing a skinny tie and looking like he's on his way to audition for a Kajagoogoo cover band. Good luck, Eric! Don't be too shy shy! Nigel Barker used to be a lot more exciting when he did stuff. And then there's Kyle Hagler (who? Exactly), who spent twelve seconds in this episode and was consumed by personalities more alluring. Where's Tasha Smith-Arqese? Maybe she has a part in something. Yeah. RIGHT.

First, we watch the final edit of the commercial they shot, which is very Matrix-y and everyone's excited. I take the time to Google and discover that Rollitos are, apparently, an actual product. With an ingenious fucking product-placement department.

April is first for her individual evaluation. Oh, there's Tasha Smith-Arqese, but she's only administering a test and doesn't get to vote. The test is on how well they take direction. Tasha Smith-Arqese gives her one spoken line -- "I've never wanted anything more than this, and if I don't get it, I'm going to die" -- which April has to use to make Tasha Smith-Arqese "want [her] sexually." Oy. With this crowd, don't expect much. And when you address the men, you might want the word "this" to modify "three bottles of bourbon, a blindfold, and the latest issue of Freshman" and see if they're taking it more seriously then.

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America's Next Top Model




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