America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Wrecks The Car

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Potes: B- | Grade It Now!
Get Outta My Dreams...
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously: The girls learned sexy moves from burlesque sensation Dita Von Teese. A dinner runway show for the folks from Elite Models left Anchal feeling like a hoss. Fabio and his manly chest posed with the girls for a romance novel cover shoot. Brooke went home on the night of her high-school graduation. The show's very talented writers had jobs. Seriously, if you want to see some real bitches, check out the offices of The CW.

It is night. The girls return home to a letter from Brooke. Jaeda says that Brooke's elimination was a big shock, and everyone was so sad. Caridee strums a guitar while wearing a hat with a tag on it, thus making her look like the exact replica of some sick fuck's Minnie Pearl fantasy, as Melrose swills a glass of Chardonnay and eulogizes Brooke in song. The song goes, "We love you Brooke, and we gonna miss you like hell / You brought to this house a feeling I could feel." A feeling that people could feel, eh? Perhaps it's more than a feeling. Or a feeling that people can't fight any longer. Or feelings, nothing more than feelings. In any case, I think that Bob Dylan should rest assured that there is no new lyricist rising through the ranks to oust him, at least not from the Top Model house. Which makes me think: you know Bob Dylan totally watches this show. In fact, he probably had the Minnie Pearl fantasy.

Melrose says that she saw the biggest improvement in Brooke of anybody. Caridee says that it sucks, because so many people don't appreciate the opportunity. Close-up on Michelle, who is looking all around like, "Oh, huh? Is someone speaking? Does somebody want me to bring them some water? Can't I see that they're burning alive?" Melrose says that she could be a model for TEN WHOLE YEARS and be happy. Michelle finally pipes up and says that she's different than the others, because this was never her dream. She interviews that she has the talent to be the model, but doesn't know if she has everything that it takes, such as knowledge of fashion. And, one would infer, desire. She tells the others that she has no idea what she's doing, and she's not figuring it out. Melrose gives Michelle a little bit of the fish eye. Melrose confessionalizes that she wants to win this and do big things with her life, and she's seeing people stay week after week who don't even want it. Hey Melrose? No one cares, because everybody hates you.

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America's Next Top Model




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