America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Talks Behind Everyone's Back

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An Episode Without A Heroine
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on ANTM: Kim was slightly less dumb than the rest of the girls and impressed Benny Medina enough to land a role on Veronica Mars and maybe seduce Kristen Bell. Lisa was eager to grab the spotlight, so she donned some fake teeth and famously quoted, "Take a break. Eat a cookie." And, the preview does not show us, peed in a diaper. Jayla and Nicole were in the bottom two and made to think that they were both going home but, much to my chagrin, neither went home, and all the girls were told to pack their bags because they're going to London. Much whooping -- but sadly, not much whooping cough -- ensued. Six girls still remain!

It is night. A teary Jayla packs her bags for London and says that being in the bottom two is harder than it looks. As she stood before the panel, she told herself not to cry and then, as we are shown in flashback, started crying. I have my oven on right now (cooking a delicious pot pie! Shut up, it's the greatest comfort food ever) and it's letting off this weird cabbagey smell. Why? Jayla's continued presence in the competition and the bad smell emitting from my oven: just two of life's little mysteries. A teary Nicole confessionalizes that going from thinking you're eliminated to hearing that you're going to London is a lot for one person to handle, especially one person whose brain is so tiny. Flashback to the girls dancing around upon hearing that they would be traveling abroad. Lisa says dang, she's flying to London, and is feeling good about the whole thing because she earned it. She's going to bring everything she can to the table, and then piss all over it. Flashback to Tyra jumping up and down while waving the British flag. Scary.

And then...we're still not in London. The girls get Tyra Mail that reads, "Get ready to meet someone whose modeling career has been based on individuality and self-awareness. Listen for a knock on the door at 1:00 PM." And then, there is a knock on the door. Lisa answers it and screams, "Rrrrrrrrrrrrrraghhhhh!" like the monster she is. In walks Jenny Shimizu, who does not appear to be afraid of Lisa Monster even though she is comparatively tiny. Lisa interviews that she totally recognized Jenny, who is so cool and chill. We see Jenny on some covers and in a few editorial shots. I think she looks best in the one where she has long hair and is wearing something skimpy, because I have been force-fed society's ideals of beauty and actually hate diversity. She meets the rest of the clan and tells them that she's there to give them some information and perhaps answer a few questions. She seems cool but kind of boring. Jayla interviews that she remembers seeing Jenny's Calvin Klein ad. I remember that too, only because my college a capella group used that ad as a promotional poster but pasted our own heads on all the model's bodies in a transgender fashion.

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America's Next Top Model

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