America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Suddenly Collapsed

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Viva Las Vagus

It's Brandy's turn, and she looks scary in that Grace Jones way. She says that the dogs are cute, and then tells them, "I'm-a need you not to scratch the fleas." Danielle says that Brandy's shot was very dynamic, which I think is due in part to the fact that the dogs are actually moving. I want a puppy! Danielle says that Keenyah struggled with the dogs, her facial expression, and her body. Naima didn't command her expressions well. Tatiana was great as long as she kept her mouth closed. Michelle interviews that since she got her big secret off her chest, she feels much more confident and hopes it will show in her photo. Danielle is impressed, and says that Michelle is incredibly statuesque with wonderful features. She's also here, queer, and proud of it. Lluvy doesn't have conventional beauty, but Danielle loved her focus. Sarah struggles, and Jay says that she's acting like a piece of driftwood who has forgotten that there's a hot guy standing by. Maybe what Michelle has is catching. Noelle tries too hard. Kahlen pops out her butt too much. Jay rambles something to Rebecca about getting into the role and her "internal dialogue." Big thanks to whoever edited this episode to be Jay-lite. Perhaps my petitions are having some effect over at the UPN. Rebecca turns it out, and Danielle loves her. Rebecca says that a lot of the other girls were watching her shoot, and that it was the most pressure she's ever felt, but that she's there to win. I don't think she's told us that before. Maybe we could hear it again?

That night, more Tyra Mail, this time announcing judging the next day. Everyone is nervous. Sarah says that she thinks she'll be okay if they're judged on photos, but if walking plays a part then she's screwed. The girls continue to practice walking. Rebecca interviews that she feels confident in herself, but wishes she knew who was going to be eliminated. Too bad she isn't watching the show, where this minor detail has been painfully obvious for the past thirty-five minutes.

We transition to panel with a shot of Tyra lying on her stomach as several little dogs sit on top of her. She then introduces the prizes, and the judges. Nolé has Empress Minnie with him, and Sandi Bass is the guest judge. And I have to confess that every time I write "Nolé," I have to start by writing "flambé" so I can get the e with the accent, and then edit it. Which is kind of appropriate anyway when you consider that he's such a flamer. Given that Nolé himself is such a waste of space, and that it annoys me to no end to have to do this, I am just going to call him Flambé from now on. Thanks for understanding.

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America's Next Top Model

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