America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Suddenly Collapsed

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | Grade It Now!
Viva Las Vagus

Miss J. tells the girls that there are heels waiting for them somewhere in the stadium, and that they must run through the stands looking for them. As they do, he megaphones, "Scavenger hunt! Scavenger hunt! Scavenger hunt!" The task is difficult, and the girls race around frantically. Finally, Brittany spots the shoes all together at the very top of one of the aisles. As the girls put them on, J. tells them that they will each get an accessory. He interviews that the girls need to understand that modeling is about presenting the clothes in a number of different situations. He tells them that the key to walking with an accessory is to not go too over the top, and adds that it's always a surprise when a model has to walk down steps. Miss J. demonstrates using the pom-poms. The other girls give it a try. As Michelle walks with a hockey stick, Miss J. tells her she looks like she's about to be tied and beat. Michelle gets momentarily excited. Sarah is like the tortoise of "tortoise and the hare" fame. Rebecca, whom Miss J. calls "Becky," says that although she's never had formal training, she's confident in her runway walk, and that she doesn't know what the best runway coach in the world is going to tell her. And I hope she doesn't mean that the way it sounds. Miss J. interviews that he thinks Becky feels confident with a lot of hair on her head. He gives her a confounded look.

We then hear burlesque stripping music as Brittany walks down the stairs. It is, I believe, the same music as when we saw Janice grind her butt on Nolé's face last season. Exotic! Dance! J. screams, "Elegance!" and interviews that Brittany reminds him of Janice, and needs to bring it down a level. Brittany interviews that Miss J. thought she was too sexy, which she says is nice and better than being called awkward. I think she's awkwardly sexy, or sexily awkward. J. tells the girls that they might, in the future, have to walk on a range of surfaces, and that they should always strive to have presence. I hope that one of those surfaces is hungry crocodiles.

Later that night, Keenyah gives Sarah some extra coaching. Sarah interviews that she asked Keenyah for pointers since Keenyah's walk is good and hers sucks balls. Keenyah, with her awful side helmet hair, interviews that Sarah's walk needed lots of work. Kahlen tries to add a few tips, which Keenyah quickly dismisses as being too much information. Keenyah interviews that, since it's still competing, she doesn't want to give everything away. Sarah's walk improves, and she thanks Keenyah. She interviews that the girls are all so nice to each other, and that they're like sisters. She then says that the competition is not America's Next Best Friend but America's Next Top Model. And that is totally true. If it were America's Next Best Friend, I doubt the phrase "shit slice" would have entered our lexicon.

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America's Next Top Model




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