America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Suddenly Collapsed

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Tyra tells Brittany that she's wearing too much foundation, and that her walk is too heavy. Janice agrees and says she looks like a grazing horse. Janice thinks that Brittany's photo is gorgeous. Tyra says that the close-up looks like the cover of a porn video and Janice quips, "That's why I like it." Janice Dickinson for President! Tyra says it looks like a high-class $39.95 porno, and then jokes, "But how do I know that?" We quickly hear Sandi saying that it might be the pink lipstick before she is cut off. In all fairness, I actually think it might be Brittany's lips. Collagen makes you look like a porn star. What can I say. Flambé says that Noelle needs to turn it up to go from pretty girl next door to America's Next Top Model. The judges agree that her photo is gorgeous and her legs look miles long. Sarah gives a worried look. Kahlen's right arm is paralyzed when she walks, and her photo is a bit stiff. Janice commends Keenyah on continuing on after she stumbled, and says she walked like a pro. Tyra says that her energy is a little bit boring, and that she needs to step it up. And I will tell Keenyah right now that "boring" is a bad niche to have on this show. Tyra asks her what's up with her outfit, and Janice adds that it looks like she has potpourri on her jeans and a carnival top. She says, "I understand if you got a little wasted one night and maybe your boyfriend was doodlin' on your butt or something." I think that's a page directly from Janice and Sly: The Drunk Doodlin' years. The judges love her photo, and Tyra notes that it's the very first shot from the photographer. Janice says it's the best beauty shot of the lot. ["I am not a big fan of Keenyah, but that shot was totally Iman." -- Wing Chun]

The judges deliberate. Lluvy is good. Michelle has no presence, and Janice says she's like a Magic 8-Ball -- you never know what you're going to get. Noelle is adorable. Keenyah knocks Janice's socks off, but looks second-rate in person. Janice says that Sarah belongs on a pirate flag, which again makes no sense, but is all-out hilarious. Tyra says that they aren't seeing the beauty in Sarah's bone structure. Tiffany is fierce. Naima is not everybody's cup of tea, but that's what makes her special. Flambé doesn't like Tatiana, saying that her face is small and crunched. Nigel, despite calling her "pugsly" last week, says he thinks she's beautiful. Janice resents people saying that Brittany looks like her. Tyra yells that she does look like Janice, and Janice replies, "The dog looks like me in this picture, the pit bull." Nigel says that she looks like a porn star in every picture. Brittany, not Janice. Although that too. Kahlen needs to turn it out. Nigel calls Christina "Christina with the crazy manic eyes." Finally, someone sees it! He says that the cute pug with his tongue out is the best thing about Christina's picture. Flambé says she's cold and fishy, but beautiful. Janice says that Brandy needs to turn herself into Hot Toddy. I love that. Nigel says that Brandy has great skin color and bone structure, but won't go anywhere with her personality. Nigel doesn't enjoy Rebecca and her photo that appears to be missing an arm. Tyra says that Rebecca is the type of model she usually thinks of as "safe," but is not at all safe when she photographs. Or, when she passes out cold on the floor.

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America's Next Top Model

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