America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Sticks Her Foot In Her Mouth

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A Schlock And Bull Story

Eugena says that she just doesn't want Melrose to win, because Melrose is really fake, doesn't like the other girls, and thinks she's better than everybody. Eugena and Caridee get a cab back to the agency.

Michelle was rushing at her second and last go-see, and says that she sucked. Sure, blame it on the time. Blame it on the rain, while you're at it, or on the stars that shine at night. Whatever you do, don't put the blame on you.

Caridee and Eugena make it back to the agency at the same time as Melrose -- that is before 6:00 -- but the twins are not there. Michelle gets in at about 6:10 and is disqualified. She seems to take it all in stride as she leaves. Then there is Amanda, who gets there at about 6:30 and is all teary. Amanda interviews that things just started off wrong for them, and that the whole situation was just too much. Then the twins are sitting in a stairway and Michelle is crying. The hormones, they are running amok.

Pancho gives the girls their critiques. Melrose was the most friendly, but her runway walk was inconsistent, and she has to practice more in front of the mirror. And also take off her stupid beret. With a little practice, the designers thought that Caridee could walk the haute couture runways. However, she has to work on her natural look -- that is, chisel off that makeup, bitch. The designers loved Eugena's look, but she has to work more on her personality. And the model who impressed the designers most is...Melrose. Of course. Melrose gloats and claps for herself. She chooses Caridee to share in her prize, which is a night of being treated like a supermodel. This includes having a personal chef for the night's dinner. This means Eugena will have to enjoy a glass of Sour Grapes Shiraz on her own, while interviewing that she doesn't really care that Melrose won the challenge.

Back at the apartment, the personal chefs cook for Melrose and Caridee as Eugena hovers. Eugena says that she could smell a really gross, fishy odor -- which one might infer comes from the fish the chefs are cooking -- so she's glad she didn't eat anything off of the gourmet menu. Sour Grapes Shriaz: goes well with a plate of hot, steaming bitterness. ["Heh, that would have been me. Unless it comes in a can, later to be mashed up with relish and Miracle Whip, or battered with a side of chips, fish is not for me." -- Wing Chun] Melrose and Caridee toast to being blonde, sexy, and young. Caridee says that she doesn't want to go back to Fargo. Neither do I, and I've never even been to Fargo.

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America's Next Top Model

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