America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Retaliates

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | Grade It Now!
Red Bullshit

When we return, Bre spanks Kim on the ass and tells her to go. Kim maybe kind of thinks it's a joke, though she interviews that she felt kind of stupid because she's being bullied around, and not for the first time, may I add. Bre then gets total Eva Pigford voice and says that she was doing just fine until Kim weaseled her way in there, and Kim's mind wanders and thinks too much and she has to find out. Bre says this like it's a bad thing, but I think anyone in their right mind would be like, "What the fuck is going on?" Also, way to be upfront and confront people with your dilemmas, Bre. Kim says that of course she wanted to know what was going on, and that Bre told her that she put Jayla's dirty socks under Nicole's bed. Kim says, "Why?" It is a question we have all asked when pondering the fact that these models exist at all.

Bre tells Kim that she's going to find something worse in the morning. Oooh, empty Red Bull cans. I am shaking in my boots, you bad-ass. Nik looks on warily and interviews that she tries to stay out of the drama, because she has enough to deal with. Kim confessionalizes that she's just going to try to be cordial and get along with Bre the best that she can until one of them is eliminated and she doesn't have to deal with her anymore. Bre sips a cup of tea infused with the juice of Satan.

The next day, Nik, Jayla, and Bre get to go on their shopping spree. They are chauffeured in a Harrod's Rolls Royce. Bre turns to Jayla and says, "You didn't eat them granola bars, right?" Well, now's a fine time to ask. Jayla turns to Bre and says, "Okay, what is this about the granola bars?" Dude, she totally did it. And kind of, I love her a little for that. Bre interviews that she knew it was Nicole, because there are no ghosts in the house. O...kay. Bre tells Jayla that she snuck into Nicole's room and emptied out her Red Bulls, leaving the empty cans around the sink. This is seriously the stupidest.

Back at the hotel, Nicole puns that she doesn't have the energy to get out of bed or be around the other bitches any more. Nicole interviews that she awoke to find the energy drink carcasses around the kitchen sink. She should boil them with carrots and celery and make a lovely soup! Kim interviews that, back in L.A., Bre was throwing around insults about her and bashing her in the limo. Another flashback. Kim says that at this point she's sorry she apologized to Bre. I am too. I really wish Kim had had a little more backbone in that situation. She landed at negative two points on my fantasy girlfriend team for the week. Nicole interviews that she thinks Bre is jealous of her, and also jealous of Kim, because Kim's doing really well right now. Kim and Nicole agree that they need to concentrate on having a good photo shoot so that they aren't the ones to get booted.

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America's Next Top Model




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