America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Mutilated The Precious Brownies

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 1 USERS: A+
Smells Like Cupcakes

In the kitchen, Cassie pulls a tray of brownies out of the oven. Ann interviews that Cassie had made low-carb brownies, and that they could only be Cassie's because "who eats low-carb brownies?" Cassie interviews that the brownies are six dollars a box. And I guess you really learn the value of a dollar when you must pluck it carefully from your g-string. Ann says that the brownies were on the counter along with all of the brownie ingredients, which include broken eggshells. Sitting on the counter. Which is just gross. Ann is justifiably disgusted by the dirty kitchen. She comes up with the brilliant idea to write "Cassie clean your dishes" in the brownies. She wonders if it's rude, but says that she's just drawing in the brownies with a knife, so how bad could it be? Eva acts as lookout. Ann can't fit the word "dishes" in the pan, so instead writes "clean your shit." And while she does carve the message with a knife, I must be fair to Cassie and say that Ann's fingers were all up in her brownies while she was writing it. As opposed to their usual position of being all up in Eva's brownies. And I apologize because that was totally gross. Ann says that she should have written "Eat some carbs," and she and Eva have a good laugh.

Cassie comes out of her room wearing only her underwear and a tank top and seriously, Cassie, put on some pants. Cassie is not amused by the brownie message. She asks Eva who did it, and Eva says she doesn't know. Yaya snarkily interviews that "someone had the audacity to mutilate [Cassie's] precious brownies." Which is amusing for the time being but will quickly become a "shut up, Yaya" moment. As Cassie and Toccara do their hair and makeup, Cassie gets increasingly mad about the incident and says, "It's like me sticking my hands all in your chicken breast or something." It's the poetry of the common man, what we hear on this show. Cassie goes from room to room asking each of the girls if they wrote on her brownies and, if not, if they know who did. Everyone, including Ann, denies it. And Ann should seriously just own up. ["Well, yes. If the whole point of her doing it was to deliver a sincere message in a joking manner, then she should have no problem admitting that she did it. Denying it suggests that Ann knows she did something wrong." -- Wing Chun] Cassie interviews that Eva was hinting that she knew who the perpetrator was: "Who else is under Eva's butt the whole time except Ann?" And I think this officially marks my sixty-ninth lesbian joke of the season. As Ann says that Cassie is royally pissed, Eva, who is doing a freaking WORD SEARCH from Highlights magazine or something, says that Cassie's mad and that Eva doesn't care.

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America's Next Top Model




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