America's Next Top Model
The Girl Who Mutilated The Precious Brownies

Episode Report Card
Potes: B | 1 USERS: A+
Smells Like Cupcakes

HFM: [with a thick foreign accent] And on this chapped lips?
SOM: [slyly, breaking into a wide grin] Wetslicks, baby! It feels like a bomb and it shines like a beacon.
HFM: [no, she really says this] And smells like cupcakes!

And...scene. My first album is seriously going to be called Smells Like Cupcakes, featuring the hit song "Feels Like a Bomb and It Shines Like a Beacon." Featuring the catchy chorus, "Feels like a bomb and it shines like a beacon/ My makeup routine, it might need some tweakin'/ Give me the extra moisture my skin is seekin'/ When they see my shiny lips, all the girls be freakin'/ 'Cause I'm looking so good that I'm beyond critiquin'/ So tonight we'll get it on till someone calls the deacon."

Tyra Mail! Tomorrow, you will meet with the judges. Ann interviews that she's nervous, because there are enough people who are doing consistently well that one bad photo might mean elimination for her. Tyra. Prizes. Judges. Tyra calls Janice "the very first supermodel ever to exist on this planet." Janice throws her head down. Empress Minnie is back, and the guest judge is Kate Dillon. She looks so pretty. Tyra says that a top model has the ability to be on point no matter how tired or exhausted she is. Thus, the girls will be judged today on their photo taken after the fourteen-story race, as well as on their Y-J Stinger photo.

Norelle is first. Her workout photo is kind of frightening, but Nolé likes it because she looks like a heroin addict. The judges love her trampoline photo. I think Kelle's workout photos look fine, but the judges groan and Janice says, "I can't even look at it. It's that bad." They hate her trampoline photo, too. Big shocker, I know. Nolé asks what Kelle did before coming on the show, and Kelle says that she owns an art gallery. Janice asks her if she's ever heard of expressionism, because she needs expression in her face. Nicole needs to learn to have model poses ready on call, because her workout photos are bad. Nicole's trampoline shot is fierce. The way she holds the Y-J Stinger can is "fashion." In the workout photo, Toccara has intensity even without the aid of hair and makeup. Her Y-J Stinger photo is not so well received. Kate says that Toccara, like many plus-sized models, has a real freedom with her body, which shines through in the photos.

Cassie's workout poses are a little too "model-y." Her trampoline photo gets mixed reviews. Tyra likes it, but Janice says that she looks like she should be in a cornfield scaring crows. Janice then holds her arms in the air and goes "AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRWWWWWWWWWWWW!" And I think I have my new cell-phone ring. That was seriously the greatest. Tyra said that the photographer noted, "Cassie looks tired and weak, and not sure if she really wants to be here." Janice asks what's up with that, and Cassie says, "I don't know." You know, if you really want to leave, then just go, and take your precious brownies with you. Eva's workout photo looks good considering that she was about to yak all over the place. Her Y-J Stinger photo makes her look taller, even though the close-up on her face shows some seriously flared nostrils. The judges love Amanda's workout photos, and her trampoline photos. Of course. Blah blah blah. Tyra says that the photographer called Amanda the superstar of the shoot, which causes Yaya to glare pissily.

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America's Next Top Model




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